Wednesday, August 28, 2013


I think I'm a sucker for anything remotely romantic. 

I love being relaxed and at ease. I love calm things, or environment. Like the beach. Sunsets, sunrise. Listening to slow songs, like R&B, or anything Yuna, or anything mellow but good. At times I love listening to Silverchair 'cos I think they are hauntingly beautiful. I mean, their lyrics, heh. I love romantic comedies, or any romantic films. I am soft at heart, but I'm still an awesome fighter ;)

Of late, I discovered a lot of things about myself that I hadn't known. And I love that. I think being at peace makes me see things clearer especially on how I feel about myself.  

They say the best relationship is the one you have with yourself. That is absolutely right. I'm enjoying this phase of my life. Meeting new people, rekindling with old passion, finding new ones, debating with inner fear, confronting issues within myself and with other people, yada yada. 

I read, urm, more now. I think that's good. I need to improve on my vocabs (!) anyways. 

And man, the people I meet. Sometimes I think these people are rezeki of some sort :)


I gotta say that sometimes I do miss being in a relationship, you know, fall in love etc. I know it's an amazing feeling to have and experience :)  It's just that I'm thinking now, ah, nanti-nantilah. Now I just want to have some time to myself, my God, my family and friends, my goals in life. Let the love thing datang sendiri. Ahaks. 

Mushy mood we are in now, aren't we?

Take care people! Love you guys loads. 

the pujuk attempt

Remember that I said I wanted a baby girl for my firstborn?

You know why?

Heh, the obvious of course. 

'Cos I wanna dress them up in all sorts of adorable tops, jeans (baby skinny jeans amagadddd), dresses and cute little baju kurungs and baju kebaya *gaspppp*

Last weekend I was at one of my trainee's wedding reception (yeah, I used to be their 'mommy' at work) and she has 2 cute little nieces and they were both donning purple baju kebaya (amagadddd). How could one resist all those cuteness?? 

So there I was putting on my best 'kakak' moment, trying to pujuk them to take photos with me. The first one is Amira, the younger one is Alisha (i think). Thing is , they were both so very shy, not forgetting, ALSO persistent on NOT getting their photos taken. 

In the end, I didn't take any photos with the elder one, no matter how hard I tried. Even tried bribing them with ice-creams, but kids are damn smart these days, huh?

Pujuk attempt for the the umpteenth time

Finally got a photo taken with the younger one, who's a also a bit timid. You can see how hesitant and scared she is through the picture alone (but I didn't care :P )

Congratulations Nana & hubs!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

feed your heart with good things

If only we are able to instantly differentiate decisions on whether they are for worldly pleasures or to seek for Paradise, wouldn't it be nice?

Nah, it would be too easy. Not challenging enough kan? The dunya itself is a test, and guess what, the hardest challenge that you have to face is to overcome the evil inside of you. Yes, it is part of us, unfortunately. 

Which is why we need to always feed our hearts with good things, be it doa (prayers), Qur'an recitation, zikir, knowledge, having good intention or even the basic of it all, having a good heart. Just recently I read an article by Imam Khalid Latif in Huffington Post, talking about the condition of our hearts. Personally I love the article. You can read it here.  Our faith tends to wear out just like our clothes do (okay, I got this from reading it somewhere), that is why we need to keep on increasing them by ways above. 

The things that has happened to me these few months, the bad and the good, have taught me immensely on the things that matters most on this planet. That is, everything that you do, is for the sake of Allah. Have it any other way, you are bound to lose them (as in the things you fought so hard for) and you are bound to lose yourself. That is pretty bad, if you ask me. 

I have sinned a lot, an awful lot. And I still have a lot to learn, to absorb, to discover, to do.

I parted with my ex-boyfriend on good terms, but I've decided that it wouldn't do me any good to still be in contact with him. I know that he still loves me when we took the decision to break up, but when a man starts to have doubts about your future when he is faced with choices that only benefits him in the dunya, that's when you know that you need to move on. Taking some wise words I've learnt along the way, keep close to you those who remind you of Allah. So the very spot on. 

Honestly, I'm not so sure if I have forgiven him. It takes time, really, I guess. But I know I am in a better place without him. I know he used to read my blog but I don't know if he still does (you know with the 'added value' in his life, and everything). 

Dear men (and women), never take on what you cannot defend. 
That line itself is for you to ponder upon and decide with if you think whatever you're going to do is worth it in the long run.

I'm writing this for a dear girlfriend of mine who is currently facing what I used to face. It's hard, I know. Just put your trust in Allah, everything will be fine. The moment we understand that Allah's decision is always in our best interest, everything will start to make sense.

Paolo Coelho said in his book 'The Alchemist' (which I have not completed yet), 
'The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.'
which to me basically translates as, you can search all the wonders of the world, marvel at them, be excited about them and such, but never forget your true intention in this dunya.

Girlfriend, I love you lots. I know I've said it a hundred times over :)

"Make yourself better and time will fix everything else
Patrick Harris Neil 

Sunday, August 18, 2013

what is lost is not lost forever

My grandaunt, Nek Ura, has been called back to the Creator today, at approximately 3pm. 

Nek Ura (3rd from right) with my mum and my aunties 
during my cousin's solemnization last December

Nek Ura has been admitted to the hospital since starting of Eid and was pretty much dependent on life-support machines since then. It started with her blocked breathing system where her food has wrongly entered the breathing airways instead of the normal food pipes (maybe due to eating too fast). A few days after she was admitted, she seemed to be progressing well but as soon as she was about to be discharged, the doctor found out that she has access of mucus in her heart. 

The last I heard about nenek from my mum (prior to today's news) was that she had to undergo an operation to put a hole in her throat so that she can breathe easily and it is also easier for the doctors to see what is happening in her breathing airways, blocked or otherwise. And then, today's news. 

Nek Ura was a strong-willed gramps, I tell ya. Imagine at that age, she was still fit and healthy, no other medical condition prior to this. She loves to travel along with us children and the grandchildren. Starting the end of last year alone, she flew from Kuching to KL, Kedah in April and recently KL again in June, for both my cousin's weddings and my cousin going to college and mind you, the schedule for both weddings at the time was very hectic, for the whole family. Since my parents are gonna be here in KL in December, my aunt has also planned for Nek Ura to join us, knowing very well she would nod her head off in enthusiasm. Allah loves her more, I guess. She's off to the most beautiful place ever. 

In a way, I feel like maybe it is really a good time for Nek Ura to go. She could be missing Aneez, my niece who just recently passed away in Ramadhan due to an asthma atack, as they are also very close to each other. At least, Aneez has a companion dear to her, although I don't doubt at all that she has found some new friends to be her companions in the Hereafter.  

May both of them rest in peace. 


What is with you must vanish: what is with Allah will endure. And We will certainly bestow, on those who patiently persevere, their reward according to the best of their actions
Qur'an (16:96)

shades of grey

It has been a while since I took an OOTD right? 
So here's their return, after so many months *smiles triumphantly*

I took this at night, hence the not so good photo qualities. Had to use filters this time, heh. 

 Wore these babies for Raya visiting. 

One of my current favourite patterns - chevron

Love the details on the wrist. Ruffles and finishing touches of gold buttons. 
There are also small pleats around the neck area which I also love, but I didn't get a close-up of it. 

Btw, the top is worn like a wrap-around piece of cloth. There's a right and left flap, and so that's the reason I still need to wear another layer of cloth inside (besides the blouse itself being a bit see-through)

Shoes : Kasoot by Isetan
Blouse : Cultivation by Isetan
Spaghetti top : H&M 
Skirt :  Ashura

 These days I prefer mixing and matching outfits. Not only 'cos it's easier for you to rock your style with different fashion ideas, it is also friendly on your purse/wallet (whoever's buying, the Mr or the Miss/Mrs).

Here's to celebrating individuality, and embracing it. 

 Have a good Sunday :)

"Find something that you love. Something that gets you so excited you can't wait to get out of bed in the morning. The money thing will come. I know so many people who have so much more money than I. They are miserable. It is so important to be happy.” 

Chris Gardner
the person who inspired 'The Pursuit of Happyness.'

Friday, August 9, 2013


I should be blogging about my Eid, really. But I didn't bring my laptop with me and it's kind of a hassle to work with photos and documents on my brother's Ipad (am so not tech-savvy, i know). 

Eid's been pretty good, honestly. During Ramadhan, I made a mental checklist for Syawal and so far all of them has been fulfilled. Nothing fancy, more of a to-do list to instil the family togetherness in the spirit of Syawal. Wahseh. 

So I wanted to talk about something else.

Usually I won't be bothered much anymore about being single. But there's this one particular day recently where I guess the hormones were doing pretty much most of the talking. I was having bubur pedas for iftar. It's sort of a thick spicy gravy filled with finely- blended traditional condiments and also some veggies.

I don't fancy non-leafy veggies much so I started to separate the baby corns from my bubur pedas. I'm about to make myself sound like a loser, but the whole time I was doing that, I couldn't help thinking,  this is one of my quirks, will I ever meet someone who will take me as I am, quirks and all? Like how I hate spicy nasi lemak sambal, or how I love to bite on my straws, or how I love my pearl milk bubble tea with 30% less  sugar? I sound pathetic. I just can't help it sometimes.

I promise the next blog entry will be jolly :-)

In the meantime, happy Eid al-Mubarak to all my Muslim readers, and happy holidays to the rest :)

Sunday, August 4, 2013

turning things around

Ah, I'm feeling a surge of negative emotional energy seeping in. Some people really have that effect on you. Grrrr.

Seriously people, choose your friends wisely. 

Some (or in my case, most) would go to great length to keep and nourish the friendship. Some (a very small portion though) would have this really absurd mindset of friendship where everyone, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US, is trying to sabotage them. C'mon!

Though a small portion, the impact is TREMENDOUS. Hence, this post. Bah!

This is the reason I have advised some sisters NOT to grow up having to always get approval from others. 
This is the exact reason. I mean, really girls, just be yourself.  When you always need to please others, you lose yourself, your belief and what you want. Your actions and your judgement will always be based on what others tell you to do. And when their judgement and actions collide with yours, this causes conflict in your head but you can't do anything about it because you just need to please them. How tiring is that? 

Well, this happened to this friend of mine. She constantly needs to please her friends, her family, her boyfriend. So she follows what they say, which is everything she is not. During the course of her life, some friends would turn away, leaving her devastated. Which, lo and behold, has left her bitter and negative-minded and having all sorts of crazy ideas on friendship. Happy on the outside but bitter on the inside, and I guess, this has taken a toll on her outlook towards life itself, which I think is a great loss. Life is beautiful, you know. 

So please, be yourself. If they don't like the way you are, it's their problem, not yours. There's a fine line between compromising and standing up for yourself. Differentiate that. 

Embrace your individuality, not deprive yourself of it. 
Seriously, girls. 

Okay, enough of this. Back to reality, need to snap out of this bad energy pronto!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

mak's birthday

Read this article earlier today regarding the love between the Prophet Muhammad and his wife, Khadija, and I absolutely love the above paragraph especially the part where the writer said that 'the better will be the person Allah chooses to complement you.'  


But anyways, I'm not gonna talk about relationships (again) yada yada. I'm going to talk about my mum!

It's her birthday today! Technically, another half an hour for her day to end but it's hokay. Confession, I wasn't the type of daughter who's close to her mum since young. So no make up lessons, no fashion tips, no relationship advice, no massive cooking lessons etc. I guess it's because I live in a household of mostly boys, so it took a while for me to digest those things. Late bloomer I guess :) But I do know that I was a crybaby (confession #2, still am), super duper sensitive I tell you. Probably because I'm a Pisces (?), heh. 

When I left home for my tertiary studies in Penang, I notice that Mak changed a bit. I mean, she'll talk about womanly things with me, hugged me more often, especially when I was about to leave the family at the airport after my semester breaks. Absence make the hearts fonder, they say? Heh. It took quite a while to get used to, actually. I never confide in my mum on my relationship ups and downs, not until these few years. I don't know why. Nowadays, we call each other on the phone nearly every day :)

It's magical the bond that daughters have with their moms, really. Which is why I wish that my first newborn will be a girl. But of course, I take whatever rezeki as they come la. Hee. 

Love you lots.