Monday, December 14, 2015

be with those beyond our years

A dear sister, Kak M, went to Yemen Ramadhan last year and spent the entire Ramadhan and a few days of Eid there. She went to Tareem, specifically. 

Tareem is a town in Hadhramaut, Yemen, whose important focus is in Islamic learning and has been a place where many Islamic scholars are produced. When she  got back from Yemen and shared her experience there, we were all listening in awe and amazement. According to her, the people of Tareem are one of the nicest, kindest, the most humble people on earth, possibly the only people alive now resembling those who have lived the life of the people during the prophethood of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. They are living the sunnah everyday in their daily lives, activities, in their speech. One of the things I remember from what she shared was that the women in Tareem are treated like a queen, that you don't have to go out to buy groceries and stuff. Your groceries will go to your door and you just have to pick what you want. I would want that (I think, to a certain level). When Kak M got back to Malaysia, she shared a beautiful poem about Tareem. which I will share here maybe in my next post, because Tareem is not what I'm gonna talk about in this post but see how far I have gone on the introduction(!). Lol. 

Anyway, Kak M also shared, that in Tareem, when you go to visit other people's house especially those older than you, you are expected to share some stories with them. Not a gossip session, mind you :) Something like a sharing session about the Quran, or about any knowledge that you have, and then, they will share their knowledge too and there will be some serious discussion on the topic, while giving or getting a massage or something like that. That is what I want to write about. The sharing session. That was what Kak M pointed out to us in usrah that day, that to gain knowledge, be around the circles of those who are way beyond your age, so that you can find benefit in what they talk about. 

Thing is, I'm never one who chats a lot, especially with the elderly because to me, they always seem to portray that they are always right. They're not, really! So when I got the chance to sit and chat with them for the past few weeks (and today, too), it has given me a rather different perspective about life.

 Brother X is my mentor for one of my volunteering activities. He frequents the masjid for congregational prayers, sits in classes for Arabic, hadith, basically Islamic knowledge despite his old age, takes responsibility of his duties seriously. When he has free time in his hands, he will start discussing about the deen or about his travel experience with all of us in the room. A few weeks ago, he shared some of his experience during his Jahiliyah days much to my surprise, because he is quite a private person. There are a few key take-aways that I've noted for my reference from that session, but the one with the biggest impact on myself has got to be seeing Allah's great mercy for him to get from a low place of jahil to where he is now. A better person who contributes so much to the society. He also related about this one incident while doing his umrah (when he was still in his Jahiliyah days), there were a lot of issues  that he has encountered, from his visa, to his delayed flights, to his (miscommunicated) hotel bookings. But the best thing was that when he finally got his hotel room issue sorted out after a long, tiring day, and then walked into the room, the view from his room was of the beautiful clock tower and the magnificent Kaabah! No matter how much we've done wrong in our life, Allah pasti akan bagi some rahmah to us. Nampak atau tak je, sebenarnya. Not that we go to Mekah to just see these man-made beauty of course.. we've got bigger plans! Hehe

Aunty B, was married to an Italian and was living abroad for quite sometime. She got a divorce (alhamdulillah, she said) after some 20 something years and got back to Malaysia because she wanted to become a practicing Muslim. It was very hard, she said, to live a Muslim life abroad when those close to you are not practicing the deen. When she got back, she bought a house nearby a masjid on purpose, so that she can't find any excuse not to pray in the masjid. She is a very humble lady, kind and has a very positive outlook on life. She now takes in a Syrian kid in her home while he studies in KL. 

These people just amaze me. And now I am still finding ways on how I can make an impact to others like how they did. I'm still learning, too. And being patient, really is a great virtue. While driving home today, I was thinking, how much of my life is spent towards the worldly life and how much of it do I spend towards the akhirah? And I must say, I'm ashamed of myself :(  Yesterday, I attended a talk on the life and geniuses of the 2 companions, Umar al-Khatab and Abu Bakar as-Siddiq and I learn that everyday, we are only using 40% of our capacity. I thought to myself, at 40% capacity of my daily life, I feel that I have exceeded doing what I need to do for the day because I was draining out of energy so much.

And that's just using 40%. Imagine if I were to really use 100% of my capacity. I can do so much more at work. But how do I do that without draining energy so much? Time management, the speaker said. Which I am sooo bad at. 

Let's put that in my 2016 resolution. I want to be a better me. I want to love myself more and marvel at the world more. I want to step it up on making that impact and make more plans into actions. God willing! 

Sunday, October 18, 2015

peugeot in Jannah please!

After class yesterday, my classmates and I were chatting while walking towards our cars. I've never seen what they drive, so yesterday I did. One was driving a Toyota Camry, one was driving Honda City, and another was.. a brand new Peugeot 508! My dream car! 

I on the other hand, am only driving a Proton :')

Feeling a bit of inferiority complex (that's what they call it,right? ahaa). It's like that peer pressure thing we had in high school, the only difference now is the 'toys' are getting more expensive. 

Couldn't help feeling a bit of envy seeing their sleek cars drove away. So much class and elegance, I thought. If only I could have one myself. I mean, at this age, I should have one, I thought again. I can have one but long ago, I chose not to spend my money on cars and decide to spend it on house instead. So what I have now is actually a product of my own choice.  But, I don't even have a house now :') 

Some time ago, I also decided to change my lifestyle. So there's a lot of things I used to do and have that I don't do and have now. 

But that's not the point.

I was still driving and thinking about the cars when an interview on the radio caught my attention. It was on IkimFM and as usual, I can't remember the ustaz's name. But the thing he said that I remember clearly and then had it on repeat on my mind was, 

'Bagilah aku tetap mensyukuri nikmatMu'

Masyallah, dear God, You're talking to me right there, kan? Clearly I am not thankful enough and as usual, You were always there to remind me :')

So now I'm back on track (on track sangat) and all those remeh-temeh things I have thrown out of the window. This path is just so full temptations and at times demand my highest level of patience and syukur. Be patient, Weina, please. Sekejap je dunia ni ok. Please persevere. For all you don't get in this life, insyaallah, Allah s.w.t will reward you with far more better things that you can't possibly imagine. Hang in there, Weina. 

Better still, redeem your Peugeot in Jannah ok, Weina? 

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

before i call it a night

A few days ago, sister Arina shared this status on her Facebook.

"Whatever happens, Allah first. He then will send His help through the people around us, things, ideas, inspiration, knowledge, situation etc.

And no such thing as "coincidence".

Trust and have faith in Him

"And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you" (Ghafir 40:60)

Masyallah, those words stuck with me until today because no 1, alhamdulillah I've experienced them myself, and no 2, I agree totally that there is no such thing as coincidence. They're all parts of His divine wisdom. Whatever that happens in your life, there is a wisdom behind it, which may come later in life :) Insyallah.

Anyways, I have been praying for this one thing in my life which to me, seemed a bit far-fetched to be made real. At least not this soon. A few days ago, I made a more specific doa just to be granted this one thing. And alhamdulillah, today morning, I got a call, and it seems to be a start to getting my doa fulfilled. Alhamdulillah... I can't thank Him enough :')

And.. an hour ago, a good girlfriend of mine, messaged me out of the blue asking me if I could refer any religious class to her.. because she wants to start her hijrah :') Nangessss. It always gives me goosebumps (good goosebumps, btw) whenever anyone I know, decide to live a better, more meaningful life :) She says, she intends to don a hijab too, one day :) Ameen to all of her doa, and I believe Allah will ease her journey insyaAllah. 

Sometimes I think I take things for granted too much. He grants His servants's doa in a blink of an eye.. but I still solat kat hujung-hujung waktu.. :( I'll make effort to be better, insyallah..  

Hey, is that rain I hear? After many weeks of haze, it finally rains, alhamdulillah. Hopefully it will clear the haze. Good night all, and always have faith :)


Sunday, July 5, 2015

the money that was not for me

Last month I was broke, with the house-moving and all. A week before payday, all I had left in my bank account was less than RM100, and you and I know very well, it won't last until the next week. At that time, I was really, really hoping for miracles to happen. 

I remembered listening to Ikim.FM one day, where one muallaf was talking about the days he first became Muslim. Because of his decision, his family, friends and fiancee left him, leaving him with no money at all. So he prayed to Allah for some amount of money. The next day, some guy honked his car infront of the muallaf's house, asking if he was Mr-So-and-So. So, he said yes. And then the guy said, "I don't know why but I had a feeling that I have to give this envelope to you." And he left.

So the muallaf opened up the envelope and guess what, inside it is a sum of money with the exact amount that he had asked from Allah. Subhanallah, how great is that! Kalau Allah nak bagi petunjuk kat orang tu, Dia akan bagi je, kan?

So, based on that incident, I, too, prayed to Allah that night, for some sum of money, at least to last me a week. The next day, I withdrew what I thought was the last RM100 I had. And I requested for the printed receipt. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the balance that I had in my account. It was exactly the amount that I prayed for, from Allah last night! I felt chills down my spine, and had goosebumps all over my arm. I went into my car and had quite a hard time understanding what my friend was talking about at that time. I was distracted.

I relayed the whole incident to my brothers in our Whatsapp group, including the story of the muallaf. 

And now, I have extra money to spend until my payday. 

But then, Allah has better plans for the rezeki that He has put down at the eleventh hour for me. A few days after that, I was told by my brother that my grandma had just passed away, as per my previous blog entries. You see, that money that I prayed for, He gave them to me so that I could buy a flight ticket back to my kampung. So that I could see nenek for the last time. Nothing is ever a coincidence.

That money, was actually for nenek :'(


nek ijah (part 2)


Reached my grandparents's house at approximately 9++pm. I walked through the sea of unfamiliar faces, looking for a familiar face. The first that I recognized was Nek Wa, my mom's mother, sitting outside with the rest of the elderly. We hugged and cried, not exchanging any words. And then, I walked into the house and saw a partition. Curtains drawn to cover the area and instantly I knew nenek was in there. I still couldn't see any familiar faces. Then, someone sitting down tugged me from behind. 


It was Mok Mie, my aunt. I hugged her and we broke into uncontrollable sobs. I feel her. I feel her sadness. I love my Nek Ijah so much. I miss her. I've been missing her since before puasa. I've been dreaming about her, missing to hug her because the last time I saw her during my brother's wedding in February, I didn't really spend time with her. I've prayed to Allah that He gives all of us enough time to see, hug and ask for forgiveness from each other during Raya this year. I cried in my prayers, probably because Allah has given me the sense that we are running out of time. Allah loves her more.

We recited Yassin the whole night. Some of my aunts and uncles didn't even sleep.

The next morning, after sahur and congregational Subuh prayer, we got ready for mandi jenazah. I joined in with my aunties. My first time doing mandi jenazah. I wanted to do this for nenek. Ironically, a few months ago, I attended a jenazah course with Nadi Anissa. You see, there is a reason for everything, there is never a coincidence, subhanallah. Tears kept streaming down our faces. Once finished, each of us, her children and her grandchildren, took turn to kiss her. The last to kiss her was her husband, my grandpa, Nek Yan. Before he kissed her, he was sobbing like a child. I had never seen Nek Yan break down and seeing him like that made all of us cry more. Nek Ijah and Nek Yan always do things together, breakfast, solat, morning talks, going to the market, everything. They are so close to each other. To lose part of your life is heart-breaking. No wonder, sabar is half of our iman. To attain sabar is definitely hard work.

Nenek's body is carried out to the living room for solat jenazah and then, to the cemetery ts to be buried. It was a scorching hot day, as usual as Ramadhan is always a hot month, but it was windy and breezy, which eased the burial process. Alhamdulillah, Nek Ijah went in peace, in a holy month.

It has been 2 weeks since her demise. My dad is still in the kampung to accompany my grandpa. InsyaAllah I will be back just before Raya. Hopefully I can stay there a bit longer this time around.

May Allah grant the best of heaven for Nek Ijah and may Allah ease her journey to the Hereafter, ameen.

Return to your Lord, pleased, and well-pleasing (surah al-Fajr)

Friday, June 26, 2015

nek ijah (part 1)

         Assalamualaikum everyone. Above anything else, I would like to wish you a blessed Ramadhan. This is going to be a lengthy post I thought at first but I figured, oh well, let's just do them in parts.

So this is part 1.


       Last Monday approximately around Zohor (noon) time, my beloved grandmother has been called to return to our Creator. She was my father's mother and the closest grandmother that I have. I was about to have my lunch break when I received a text from my brother informing me that Nek Ijah had passed away. I teared up instantly and requested from my boss to take time (and days) off. I went straight to the airport feeling heavy.

     Bought my ticket at the airport as online booking was off limits to flights with less than 4 hours of departure time. Flight was at 4:20pm and I left the office around 2pm. Was numb the entire journey. Reached Sibu at approximately 6:30pm. My dad and my cousin were already waiting for me at Sibu Airport. Broke our fast at the airport and continued our 2-hour journey by land to my beloved kampung.

To be continued.

Meanwhile, please include her in your doa, thank you so much.

Monday, April 13, 2015

change ourselves

Squeezing this in before my lazy mood takes over, again. 

So, I had brunch over the weekend with my girlfriends whom I see something like once a year, at The Red Bean Bag, Publika. We had gossip session over our egg benedicts, baked eggs, something called 'Sumo' which is a pan-fried salmon steak (yummy!) and a dessert called 'Skycrapers', basically a stack of fluffy pancakes topped with chocolate sauce and maple syrup, served with caramelized slices of bananas, blueberries and strawberries. Didn't take any photo as I didn't feel like it. I don't really take photos these days, I don't know why. Anyways, we moved to taking a stroll along the bazaar in Publika. A bazaar of mostly headscarves, kaftans, blouses, praying attires, quirky fruit juices (read : Apple Medley. Not too bad if you like lemongrass - or was it celery - in your drinks). Then, I stopped at a booth selling beautiful scarves. I stopped because the lady manning the booth was so familiar to me. So while she was explaining about the scarves that she sells, I interrupted her nicely and told her that she looked familiar. 

"You look familiar. I think I know you through some activities by Project Amal." I explained, and her eyes lit up. 

"Oh, was it the gelandangan (homeless) project?" 

"No, it was way back. The one with the kids from the orphanages, where we brought them to go buy books at the Big Bad Wolf book sale?" 

"Oh yeah. Yeah, that one." She smiled weakly and continued while touching the tudung she was wearing, "I haven't started wearing tudung at that time." And then, she took a step back, arranging the scarves on the table.

Man, Right there and then, I felt so bad bringing up the whole thing. I know how it feels when people talk about the time when I wasn't wearing my tudung yet. The J-days (Jahiliyah days, as my naqibah calls it :P). I still go through this and whenever people talk about those days, my heart sank. Just last week, my colleague emailed me a screenshot of my business profile photo that the company has put on our company website 3 years ago. Let's just say, I wasn't proud of the photo. I know how she felt, but I didn't mean to make her feel that way. And I didn't even say sorry :( I didn't know how to. It was so awkward. I felt sad. 

She was very different this time around. She was more humble, as opposed to 2 years ago. My impression of her then, was a snobby rich kid (dear God, please forgive me). Look how she turned out, alhamdulillah. May Allah protect her. He guides whom He wills kan? 

Allah teaches us in wonderful ways, like this one. So, when people judge others unfairly, it makes me sad because I know, those being judged CAN be better than those so-called 'judges', with God's will. Muslims calling non-Muslims as kafir. You know what, through experience yang tak seberapa ni, I can tell you that actually, some non-Muslims are MORE Muslims than the Muslim themselves and some Muslims are MORE kafir than the kafir themselves, if you get what I mean. After all, the ultimate purpose of us being created diversely is for us to get to know each other well, NOT to condemn/put down those who are not of the same skin-colour, beliefs, status etc. 

There's this saying by Marie Curie, 
“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”

With the crisis that are happening in the world (or in our very own country) right now, I suggest for us to do more reading and research, not just taking things at face value. Understand what is going on, why do things happen that way, instead of listening to the rumors (of those who refuse to understand). 

Please, and thank you.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

mis(ter) chief

I received this message this morning. One of my nephew has finally had his dream came true. He is now a police inspector!

It made me so proud because it is his dream since he was a little boy, since I babysat him, and he is ALWAYS talking about being a police inspector. Now he's all grown up, married and finally got his dream job, alhamdulillah. I teared a little when I came to know about this because I know how hard it was at first for him and for his family to settle everything that has been going on in their lives. 

With every hardship, there is ease. (94:5-6)

And Allah is the Most Generous and the Most Loving.