your heart is stronger than you give it credit for

Hello guys! How are you? 

Gosh, it has been more than a year since I last wrote anything here. I miss writing but life just took hold of me a year ago and I found myself pretty much occupied with work most of the time. The days and nights are crazy, weekends too, basically just devoting my life to work. So nowadays I would just upload stuff on my Instagram, which is more convenient :) I miss writing on this blog, I seriously do! Now I've quit that company (yup!) and just landed myself on a new job, doing what I used to do some few years ago but for a slightly demanding client and a more demanding environment. What the cat was I thinking when I took the offer?!? They say be careful of what you wish for kannnn?

Nah, amek kau.

So these days, I'm feeling quite stressed out to the point that I thought of just leaving the corporate world and go migrate to Perth and do something more relaxing, like work in a bookstore, sell something in the morning market or something along the line. I'm not getting any younger so I feel like I should be looking after my health more and feed my soul more with good things. So, while we are at it, if you are someone who lives in Perth and looking for someone to look after your bookstore yada yada, please hire me! :P (not kidding)

On my way to work every morning, I would be caught up in the deadly PJ traffic, so I would have some time to check out my Facebook in the car. One morning, I stumbled upon a video by Aida Azlin talking about heartbreaks. No, I'm not heartbroken or anything like that but the points that she was talking about in the video was so good. Ok, I'll share some bits and pieces of them here:

1. There's no shortcuts to healing but we can all try to cope with the pain. 

Some of us just numb and suppress this feeling, some of us cry to sleep, some of us throw ourselves to our work to keep ourselves busy, whatever coping mechanism that we choose, know that it will only take your mind off your real feeling just for a while. It doesn't deal with the feeling that you have. The only way to deal with the pain is to write it out, and give it time. 

2. Please help yourself to heal.

Your heart is stronger than you give it credit for. While you are still hurting, your heart is already preparing itself to heal, to forgive, to move on. But if we are still picking on our scabs, i.e keep on revisiting old memories, or when we insist to hold on to things or people who are already left, we are being our own obstacle to our own healing. 

3. Use that energy to be creative.

All this feeling that you have right now because of the heartbreak is a form of energy. Use that energy, in a productive way. Don't use it to scheme for revenge etc. Use the energy to be creative. Write it out, paint it out, go run a marathon, climb a mountain. Just use that intense energy to benefit you. Use it to grow into a much wiser, stronger, better you. Like a version 2.0. Look at what Adele did. She made a whole album about her heartbreak and it won her 6 Grammys and made her lots of money. 

Such wonderful advice, right? Since then, I have been utilizing the hours in the morning traffic listening to her videos and that helped me to be more motivated and inspired to start work. Come to think of it, I think this is the answer that I was asking Allah for when I just couldn't take the work stress any longer some time back. And amazingly, most of the times kan, I would ask Him specific question like, is it really my fault or am I being too sensitive? The next thing I know, I get the answers through Aida's video, talking about the exact same thing :)

You are truly all-Hearing, all-Seeing and the Most Compassionate

So guys, if you love these stuff, head over to Facebook or Youtube and search for Aida Azlin. She does amazing videos and she writes about her reflection on life through weekly love letters.

Til then, see you when I see you. Take care and please pray that Allah will make it easy for me in my work and everything else in between. I hope to write more soon, insyallah :)

i decided this should be documented..hehe

While waiting for the lift at the office yesterday, an ex-colleague whom I haven't seen in 3 years (despite working in the same building!) said, "Hey Amy. I think you lost a lot of weight la. What happened?"

Coming from this blunt person and from someone who does not give compliments much, is like a WOW to me. 

So I said, " Are you sure it is not because of the tudung?" (I haven't started donning my hijab then)

"No,no, no.. you memang lost a lot of weight. What did you do?"

I grinned. LOL. Give me some credit la guys. 

Anways, the lift came and before stepping in, I said, "Thanks! You made my day!"

That was exactly it. The compliment did make my day after some stressful weeks at work.

Gonna have a retreat to my own little lovely sanctuary tomorrow. 

Have a good week!

peugeot in Jannah please!

After class yesterday, my classmates and I were chatting while walking towards our cars. I've never seen what they drive, so yesterday I did. One was driving a Toyota Camry, one was driving Honda City, and another was.. a brand new Peugeot 508! My dream car! 

I on the other hand, am only driving a Proton :')

Feeling a bit of inferiority complex (that's what they call it,right? ahaa). It's like that peer pressure thing we had in high school, the only difference now is the 'toys' are getting more expensive. 

Couldn't help feeling a bit of envy seeing their sleek cars drove away. So much class and elegance, I thought. If only I could have one myself. I mean, at this age, I should have one, I thought again. I can have one but long ago, I chose not to spend my money on cars and decide to spend it on house instead. So what I have now is actually a product of my own choice.  But, I don't even have a house now :') 

Some time ago, I also decided to change my lifestyle. So there's a lot of things I used to do and have that I don't do and have now. 

But that's not the point.

I was still driving and thinking about the cars when an interview on the radio caught my attention. It was on IkimFM and as usual, I can't remember the ustaz's name. But the thing he said that I remember clearly and then had it on repeat on my mind was, 

'Bagilah aku tetap mensyukuri nikmatMu'

Masyallah, dear God, You're talking to me right there, kan? Clearly I am not thankful enough and as usual, You were always there to remind me :')

So now I'm back on track (on track sangat) and all those remeh-temeh things I have thrown out of the window. This path is just so full temptations and at times demand my highest level of patience and syukur. Be patient, Weina, please. Sekejap je dunia ni ok. Please persevere. For all you don't get in this life, insyaallah, Allah s.w.t will reward you with far more better things that you can't possibly imagine. Hang in there, Weina. 

Better still, redeem your Peugeot in Jannah ok, Weina? 

before i call it a night

A few days ago, sister Arina shared this status on her Facebook.

"Whatever happens, Allah first. He then will send His help through the people around us, things, ideas, inspiration, knowledge, situation etc.

And no such thing as "coincidence".

Trust and have faith in Him

"And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you" (Ghafir 40:60)

Masyallah, those words stuck with me until today because no 1, alhamdulillah I've experienced them myself, and no 2, I agree totally that there is no such thing as coincidence. They're all parts of His divine wisdom. Whatever that happens in your life, there is a wisdom behind it, which may come later in life :) Insyallah.

Anyways, I have been praying for this one thing in my life which to me, seemed a bit far-fetched to be made real. At least not this soon. A few days ago, I made a more specific doa just to be granted this one thing. And alhamdulillah, today morning, I got a call, and it seems to be a start to getting my doa fulfilled. Alhamdulillah... I can't thank Him enough :')

And.. an hour ago, a good girlfriend of mine, messaged me out of the blue asking me if I could refer any religious class to her.. because she wants to start her hijrah :') Nangessss. It always gives me goosebumps (good goosebumps, btw) whenever anyone I know, decide to live a better, more meaningful life :) She says, she intends to don a hijab too, one day :) Ameen to all of her doa, and I believe Allah will ease her journey insyaAllah. 

Sometimes I think I take things for granted too much. He grants His servants's doa in a blink of an eye.. but I still solat kat hujung-hujung waktu.. :( I'll make effort to be better, insyallah..  

Hey, is that rain I hear? After many weeks of haze, it finally rains, alhamdulillah. Hopefully it will clear the haze. Good night all, and always have faith :)

  

measure of a man

The best thing about talking to God (for me that includes a lot of asking, questioning, tantruming if there's such a word, complaining) is when you get the most perfect answer, in the end. 

I didn't have a good Friday last week and after getting off work, I was sooo glad the day was over, and vowed to just sleep over the weekend (which didn't really happen). 

I was scrolling through my Instagram feed that night and came across this, describing my day perfectly, and in a way, sort of memujuk my hati yang gundah gulana at that time. 

Sometimes I think this world is full of ungrateful people. Ungrateful because they never look at what is in their plates and instead look at what they DON'T have, thus having this mentality that no one shall ever be above them, in terms of anything. So they victimize others through their devious ways. Funny thing is, most of them are people of faith! Mannnn. What is this?!? How do they do that? They claim to be people of faith but they back bite? They have faith but spread rumors? They have faith but practice black magic? I seriously don't get this. 

Yes, I always remind myself that whatever ish that's being thrown at me, I have Allah. If I lose because of my stand (in faith and its principles), so be it. This is not my time yet, that this vulnerable self is not meant for the people of this world. It is meant for the next life. So let them be, let them walk all over me, let them have their ways. Let them judge me based on their assumptions. Only Allah knows what is in my heart and what I really do and why I do it. I probably need to do more self-reflect. I don't know.  

I used to hear Professor Muhaya talking about self-reflecting all the time. That what you give out is what you will get. If you give more money, money will come to you. That if you share more love and compassion, you will in return get more. I just realize how true this is. I'm thankful that I'm surrounded by a lot of good friends  in the office who always come by my place to just say hi and have small talks. I really, really appreciate that a lot. I've always believed that good friends is a form of rezeki. Anyways, some people in the office ask me, how did I know so many people and have so many friends? I really don't know. Just be a good friend, I guess, but of course, I didn't tell them that. How do you expect to have a friend when you backbite, degrade and look down on others all the time? How will all of that give others a good vibe? Man, I don't know. I'm not a saint and all of my advices/stories that I share on social medias including those I write in this blog goes first and foremost to myself. As a reminder because I go out of the path all the time and I see faults in others like I didn't have them in myself. I'm trying and I struggle, but of course, people don't see that. It's so true that we can say we are people of faith, that we go and pray in our mosques/churches/temples all the time, that we search for spiritual knowledge from lectures and seminars etc, that we fast to retain our desires etc but what really, really, actually matters is just one thing. 

The condition of your heart. 

Which only God will be able to see. There's this quote I love from one of the 'Inspiration' series by Muhammed Zeyara and Shaykh Omar Suleiman in Youtube. 

"Isn't it amazing that the ultimate measure of a man in the sight of God is the one thing that can't be seen by anyone else?"

on forgiveness

Somebody tweeted this and it immediately reminded me of you. 

Yes, this is for you. 

Like it's nothing. Kan?

Sometimes when I read, I come across words that inspire me and make me think about life. Like how pain is temporary, or like how time heals all wounds, or like sunshine comes after the rain, yada yada. I've also come across this one point that is so true but I find so hard to swallow. 

Forgive people as how you would want God to forgive you. That person might have wronged you but you have wronged God in so many other ways and yet He still forgives you again and again. 

Truth is, I don't know if I have forgiven you. I guess I haven't. It will take time, surely. I still remember how

you said that I often end up with bad guys and you're one of them, that I deserve better. So cliche like that, kan? Maybe la. Maybe I'm just not that lucky. Or maybe it's because of something I did in the past, I don't know. But I am sure that there is a reason for every meet and every parting. 

And I think the reason we met was so that I could taste a little bit of happiness even if it was only temporary. And I guess the reason we parted was so that I know what happens if we depend our happiness so much on something other than our Creator.  

Allahu allam. 

I keep reminding myself, and those close to me, to always find the good in everything. Find the hikmah. It makes you more thankful.

Like the verse from Surah Al-Sharh, 'Verily, with hardship comes ease.'  

I used to think that what the verse means is that AFTER the hardship, there will be ease. Thing is, it is not AFTER, it is WITH hardship comes ease. This means that, when Allah tests us with hardships, He doesn't make the entire situation hard for you. There will be ease or good in some ways. Which makes perfect sense. 

Otherwise, I wouldn't have embarked on this beautiful journey of faith, alhamdulillah. 

I'm still learning. I have an awful lot to learn, but I'm enjoying it. It's just that sometimes it feels like a roller-coaster ride. One day I'm in high spirits, the next, I'll be feeling blue. Keep reminding myself these days to recharge and recharge and RECHARGE. Hehe. 

Recharge and absorb.

And put them into action. 

Allah loves us, no matter how much we have sinned. 

And I hope I could find enough courage to forgive. 

This journey is a tough journey, and the heart has to be revived again and again to make it to the end 

Shaykh Hamza Yusuf

words of wisdom

I love this.

It's so true. 

That ah-ha moment. 

Priceless.

Anyway, I'd like to share here a video on a graduation speech by a student speaker, Hamza Siddiqui, from University of the Pacific, last June. It has been quite a while since I've heard a good speech, especially one that cited verses from the Qur'an itself. 

  

Kinda gave you that warm feeling, isn't it?

My personal favourites (yes of course I have to point this out) are : 

1) I've learnt that when you're heartbroken, you should place your hand on your chest and feel it beat. It's not broken yet. 

2) I've learnt that it's easy to go from one relationship to another relationship, to another one, but it's a lot harder to give time to fall in love with yourself.

3) Work hard but be easy on yourself.

4) No matter how busy you get, stay in touch with your friends.

5) Know that there will be time when the people that you love will betray you, treat them with kindness and forgiveness.

6) When somebody angers you, they have conquered you. Don't let anybody conquer you. 

7) I've learnt that life is really fragile. And that every single one of us are going to have to leave one day. 

These are my favourites because they reflect my life journey, be it friendship, relationship etc. 

So be good, everybody. It doesn't hurt, I tell ya. 

I remember working with a colleague a year back. He's a good staff, it's just that the management doesn't really favour him because he is kind of a rebel, questioning some of the plans the management has in store (which by the way, benefits them more than most of us). When I messed up at work the other day, I keep telling myself what an idiot I am. That colleague then said, "Takpe, ni dunia je semuanye"  I was so sentap at that time that I stayed speechless for quite a while. 

Moments like that lives forever in my mind. I think it's good to hold on to things that make us stay grounded. When we think too much or let emotions get the best of us, that's when we could be doing or saying something that could be hurtful to others, sometimes without us realizing it. 

Also, choose a good environment for you to develop yourself, or your family. If you're constantly having to work/grow in a negative environment, it WILL change who you originally are. Yours truly is a firm believer of that. Which is why I left a promising post in my previous job. Nearly 2 years down the road now, and I'm glad I made that decision.  

Have a good weekend!

May Allah reward you with abundance of goodness :)

"It makes no difference how many peaks you reach if there was no pleasure in the climb.” 

Oprah Winfrey

with every difficulty there is ease

Dear brothers,

Trying time it is now. But just hold on. Each of us is promised of His sustenance, so as long as we work for it. I'm working on it, everybody's working on it. I know it's easy to despair in times like this but know that He would not make us go through this if He knows that we can't do it. 

"On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear" 

(Al-Baqarah 2:286)

I'd be lying if I were to say that I never feel like giving up. I do, of course I do. I do have those moments. And it doesn't help when you've (still) got peer pressure around you to act or live the way they want you live. I hope you get what I mean. I know it must be harder on you around your friends too, sometimes (or most of the time). But you and I, we can't give up. You just can't surrender to things that are volatile.

The things that you want, you know I wish so many times that you didn't have to ask for them. So many times, I wish they come easy. But I guess, when you have them easily, you won't learn the value of the important things. For example, your health, you see how Papa is healthier now compared to when he was working his bums off in the office? Value of time, remember that time when we had the cafe and no one had time for each other? Everyday was spent manning the cafe, from the wee hours of the morning right up to midnight. I remember what baby brother used to tell me. "Na, I want continue college in XXX so that I can be close to Mak and Papa". The cafe was in the vicinity of the college. I mean how sad is that? Not to have those comfort at home. Those and a lot of other things.

 Something great is gonna come out of all this mess, trust me. Have faith in Him. These things, they make you learn and appreciate. Imagine having all the money in the world, but your family disrespect you. Or having all that, but during Raya you don't get to see your Dad because he needs to spend the day with his business partners. These are true stories and I don't want all that.

We didn't celebrate Raya together last year. This Raya, I hope that'll change.  

"Verily, with every difficulty there is ease."
surah Al-Sharh

moments of impact

I was watching 'The Vow' (starring Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams) last night and there's this one scene that was so close to my heart. 

It's like being transported back into time. 

  

"These moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down, actually end up defining who we are"

Yup, that's taken from this movie. 

The photo up there, it reminded me of the end of a beautiful relationship, but most importantly, the start of a relationship even more beautiful it feels like being in paradise. 

May Allah bless you, Amin.

shut your eyes

The best way to know if you love someone.

Is to shut your eyes.

When you shut your eyes, you eliminate the things that are unnecessary to you and focus on the most important thing that matters to you. 

Sometimes that's the best way to make a decision. 

Taken from a self-motivation book by Albert Espinosa, "The Yellow World"; 

"They always advised us to shut our eyes. For them, shutting the eyes was almost magical. You shut your eyes and it was as if you managed to get rid of all the unimportant details. Closing your eyes eliminates one of your senses, the sense that distracts you the most, that brings in the most information."

I have to agree with this because at times when I'm on the praying mat, sometimes I'll be thinking that the blinds and the mutes are the ones luckier than us because they are not distracted by the things that they can't see or hear, which helps them to concentrate in their prayers. As for myself, sometimes the slightest movement or sound can easily distract me from concentrating on my  prayers. Talk about khusyu'.

 I found this book by chance in Kinokuniya while waiting for my brother to finish his work and it IS a good read. I didn't buy it though because at the time I was torn between buying this or Paolo Coelho's 'Aleph'. I ended up not buying both. Pfft. I will soon. I will :P

I just finished my Sidney Sheldon debut novel and I gotta say that I missed a lot. Have not been reading for quite a while now and I intend to continue this passion. 

Alright, need to have some shut eye now, not because I need to decide something, it's because I have a packed day tomorrow.. hehe. 

Try shutting your eyes to make that decision you've been holding on to for so long. 

Night, angels!

We need to learn how to lose things, and see our losses in new ways. Even the most painful experiences have beauty hidden in them - Albert Espinosa

Let's fall and stay in ♥

Where do I even begin? :) Everything's so beautiful :)


First and foremost, I busted my promise to myself which was not to go shopping for the next 6 months (due to shopping giler2 in HK).


What I did was spend $ in Forever 21 (I even planned to go there again next weekend.Demmmittt!) Helloo? 70% sale!! And I'm planning this year to have more lacey blouses :D


Next, I bought RM300++ worth of cosmetics, whereby I needed only the foundation, but ended up buying soap + make-up remover. HOWEVER! The kind saleslady gave me 6 extra gifts and I'm sooooo loving them. I love her! And she asked me to come back to her for future purchases. I definitely will!


And then, erm.. I was out with my beau :) We watched 'Little Fockers' and the movie was not too bad, more to 18SX, I can say.  


So far I am blessed to have him in my new life, seriously. He has been nothing but a gentleman. Because the thing is, he makes me happy . Love you, sayang (he will be reading this :P )


Honestly I have been having these weird feeling, I mean in a good way. It's like everything is falling in place, one by one. I feel like everything around me has been positive and that this year is going to be a good year, God-willing. 


Let's hope for miracles ;) 
Fall in love, it's beautiful.

Captions updated - Happiness is better shared

Mongkok. Shopping heaven!

Seems like I go there every other night :P

First purchase in Ladies Market, Mongkok.

I think this was around $60. Love it cos it's cute.

OTW back from Tsim Sha Tsui. Love the hanging red lights. And the atmosphere.

OTW to my dream destination since childhood

With friend, Ina and her lovely daughter

Finally reached dream destination!

Weehoo!

Gemoks!

Unfortunately we were a tad too early, so I walked around and shot some photos.

One of the first to purchase :D

All smiles. Let's go!

Lovely, love 'em flowers

Early morning parade

In line for Mickey + Minnie's shoot

Weeeeeee

Alice and moi

Goofy's hut

The photos taken by the park's photographers. Memoirs.

Disneyland's photo claim ticket

On a different day at the Avenue of Stars, Tsim Sha Tsui

Sotong grill. Yummeh!

Bought a few DVDs as well. What the heck, they are freakin' cheap!

Temple Street's touch of glam :D

Bought each at $25, similiar to the ones you find at Forever 21

Getting onboard Bus 629 to Ocean Park. This is at Admiralty MTR Station

Arrived!

Just after the twirling ride

Sealions

Before the dolphin + sealion show at Ocean's Theatre

The 4 dolphins! Beauties :)

Up the Sky Tower, bird's eye view of Ocean Park

A part of the view. Some sites are under construction for more attractions

The sea view. Amazing.

Makan2 area. Nyums. We had McDonald's for lunch.

Before the swing starts to swayyyyy

Before the Pirate Ship ride. Dang, scared the hell outta me. Thank God it didn't go 360 degree.

Yeah man, I RODE this! Screamed the entire ride!

Cable car going back to the other side of Ocean Park

At one point during the ride, I really felt like throwing up. Seasick maybe?

Ok, sempat posing.

Going down now

Nice right? I just loveeee hot air balloons, but these are just replicas, not for rides.

Acrobatic show

One for all!

Merry X'mas!

And a whole lot of HUGS!

Cute pandas

Move as millions, survive as one

Pretty busy munching on the bamboo shoots

Gold fishes ;)

Alololooo. Manja nye

The search for 'Warung Malang' finally ended, thanks to a cewek

Believe it or not, this is the first yummeh nasi campur dish we've had since our stay in HK

The tram, or 'ding-dings' as our locals call it

There you go. Those are some of the initial activities I did in HK. Love the experience, love the places. Will come back again for another trip (not for work, definitely). Actually I have updated photos but since now I'm using the lobby's PC to update this blog, I can't upload the photos as they're in my laptop. Hopefully the next time I come back, it will be with that special person :) Happiness is better shared, trust me :)