The best thing about talking to God (for me that includes a lot of asking, questioning, tantruming if there's such a word, complaining) is when you get the most perfect answer, in the end.
I didn't have a good Friday last week and after getting off work, I was sooo glad the day was over, and vowed to just sleep over the weekend (which didn't really happen).
I was scrolling through my Instagram feed that night and came across this, describing my day perfectly, and in a way, sort of memujuk my hati yang gundah gulana at that time.
Sometimes I think this world is full of ungrateful people. Ungrateful because they never look at what is in their plates and instead look at what they DON'T have, thus having this mentality that no one shall ever be above them, in terms of anything. So they victimize others through their devious ways. Funny thing is, most of them are people of faith! Mannnn. What is this?!? How do they do that? They claim to be people of faith but they back bite? They have faith but spread rumors? They have faith but practice black magic? I seriously don't get this.
Yes, I always remind myself that whatever ish that's being thrown at me, I have Allah. If I lose because of my stand (in faith and its principles), so be it. This is not my time yet, that this vulnerable self is not meant for the people of this world. It is meant for the next life. So let them be, let them walk all over me, let them have their ways. Let them judge me based on their assumptions. Only Allah knows what is in my heart and what I really do and why I do it. I probably need to do more self-reflect. I don't know.
I used to hear Professor Muhaya talking about self-reflecting all the time. That what you give out is what you will get. If you give more money, money will come to you. That if you share more love and compassion, you will in return get more. I just realize how true this is. I'm thankful that I'm surrounded by a lot of good friends in the office who always come by my place to just say hi and have small talks. I really, really appreciate that a lot. I've always believed that good friends is a form of rezeki. Anyways, some people in the office ask me, how did I know so many people and have so many friends? I really don't know. Just be a good friend, I guess, but of course, I didn't tell them that. How do you expect to have a friend when you backbite, degrade and look down on others all the time? How will all of that give others a good vibe? Man, I don't know. I'm not a saint and all of my advices/stories that I share on social medias including those I write in this blog goes first and foremost to myself. As a reminder because I go out of the path all the time and I see faults in others like I didn't have them in myself. I'm trying and I struggle, but of course, people don't see that. It's so true that we can say we are people of faith, that we go and pray in our mosques/churches/temples all the time, that we search for spiritual knowledge from lectures and seminars etc, that we fast to retain our desires etc but what really, really, actually matters is just one thing.
The condition of your heart.
Which only God will be able to see. There's this quote I love from one of the 'Inspiration' series by Muhammed Zeyara and Shaykh Omar Suleiman in Youtube.
"Isn't it amazing that the ultimate measure of a man in the sight of God is the one thing that can't be seen by anyone else?"