Thursday, November 28, 2013

return home

Just found out that a friend's father has passed away today. Innalillah. Sad thing is, she's currently in Paris for a migration project for the next 3 months. Not sure if she's going back for the funeral. This news broke  my heart. 

Imagine being in her shoes :'(

Nothing in this life is a coincidence. Gotta be prepared, man. 

Saturday, November 16, 2013

step by step

I didn't know that I was actually under a lot of stress lately until I got hit by migraine a few days ago. Can't remember when was the last I had it. It started at the office after I was done with the emails. Thank God the emails didn't come in loads like they did last week, and I gotta thank my wonderful colleagues too for always helping me out when the mailbox was bombarded with a whole load of them. Was contemplating to even cancel my class that night but haish, too precious to cancel. Thank God the traffic was ok on the way back home. Reached home took some pills, rested and then went to class. 

I gotta admit, maybe I didn't take care of myself well enough lately, which also might have contributed to this. Doctor advised to go for walks (okay,doc. been pilling up on the kilos already *cries*) and also do some breathing exercises. Procrastination, hear hear.

I'm not too sure the exact source of stress. I do know that lately some part of my brain has triggered some memory, just macam tu jek. Padahal all this while dah lama tak terfikir pasal yang lepas2. And lately, I feel like I've been pushed to the limit by people close to me on this thing we call love. I know they mean well for me, they always do. They'd recommend people and stuff, but I don't know la. Sometimes part of me miss that part of dating etc, but most of the time, I'm think I'm still a little bit scared. How la? Slow slow je la kot. Anyways, I believe that He has my best interest at hand, so I don't have to worry too much. Ok kawan2ku yang sedang membaca luahan hatiku ni, don't worry about me too much ok. I am fine the way I am now :P Dating's fun but hanging out with u girls lagi fun tau  >.< 

Baby steps, katanyerrr.. 

Just a little note to all heartbreakers who might be reading this, when you break someone's heart, you rip them off everything that made them who they are. 
Their confidence. 

May He grant yourselves some humanity and love in your hearts. 

Sunday, November 10, 2013

eid al-fitr

This entry has been in my draft folder for quite a while now. Since August! Hahaa. So I shall complete it today.

An uncle once said, "Setiap hati yang tenang melalui dugaan di bulan Ramadhan sememangnya menyambut Aidilfitri dengan kegembiraan."

This year, our Eid is evidently different from the previous years. For one, we are ALL together. Yeah, my nucleus family, all the 6 of us are all together.  Alhamdulillah. Secondly, we spend less this time around because of the financial state my family is in, but that's okay. Weird thing is, despite the lack in that department, we've been blessed with abundance of rizq, from relatives, friends and strangers. Jars of biscuits, homemade cakes, seats at our favourite (albeit always full) Laksa Sarawak place (one of the diners asked my mum to sit with them first to secure the seat. other people were still standing around waiting for vacant seats. rezeki hoi), crates of fizzy drinks, sofa. Yes, sofa even. Heh. Come to think of it, I just had to buy kek lapis (for home comsumption and as gifts for colleagues and friends) for Raya, and just made one  pandan cake. Our signature cake. That's it.

During Ramadhan this year before I head back to Kuching, I made a mental checklist for celebrating Raya. One of them is to have all my brothers help out with the house-cleaning and house-decorating. Surprisingly they were all in agreement! Good job! Well, considering everyone has their own agendas pre-Raya for the last few years, this is considered a huge improvement :)) And I was so pleased for that, alhamdulillah.

Next on my list was performing the Aidiladha prayers together, which we did, and for that I felt so, so blessed. My dad even took a video of us walking back from the mosque together :')

Our signature pandan cake in the making


 I love them so very much.
I pray for us to have a life of His blessings and that with His will, to be able to enter Jannah together, Ameen.

And for that, there is still a LOT to be done.

May Allah ease it for us ♥

The pious offspring who casts a single look of affection at this parents receives a reward equal to an accepted Hajj - Prophet Muhammad

Wednesday, November 6, 2013


There are 3 things you must do in order to make that change, according to Ustaz Haslin : 

1) start with small things 
This concidentally echoes Shaykh Yahya Ibrahim's point on the best (deed) are usually the simplest

2) start with yourself
Shaykh Sulaiman Moola says, 
"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. 
Today I am wise, I'm changing myself."

3) start today

"Make time for ilm. Insha Allah it will change you. Ilmu ni perlu didatangi, perlu dicari. Ulama' dulu travel so far for knowledge"
Sister Wardina