feed your heart with good things

If only we are able to instantly differentiate decisions on whether they are for worldly pleasures or to seek for Paradise, wouldn't it be nice?

Nah, it would be too easy. Not challenging enough kan? The dunya itself is a test, and guess what, the hardest challenge that you have to face is to overcome the evil inside of you. Yes, it is part of us, unfortunately. 

Which is why we need to always feed our hearts with good things, be it doa (prayers), Qur'an recitation, zikir, knowledge, having good intention or even the basic of it all, having a good heart. Just recently I read an article by Imam Khalid Latif in Huffington Post, talking about the condition of our hearts. Personally I love the article. You can read it here.  Our faith tends to wear out just like our clothes do (okay, I got this from reading it somewhere), that is why we need to keep on increasing them by ways above. 

The things that has happened to me these few months, the bad and the good, have taught me immensely on the things that matters most on this planet. That is, everything that you do, is for the sake of Allah. Have it any other way, you are bound to lose them (as in the things you fought so hard for) and you are bound to lose yourself. That is pretty bad, if you ask me. 

I have sinned a lot, an awful lot. And I still have a lot to learn, to absorb, to discover, to do.

I parted with my ex-boyfriend on good terms, but I've decided that it wouldn't do me any good to still be in contact with him. I know that he still loves me when we took the decision to break up, but when a man starts to have doubts about your future when he is faced with choices that only benefits him in the dunya, that's when you know that you need to move on. Taking some wise words I've learnt along the way, keep close to you those who remind you of Allah. So the very spot on. 

Honestly, I'm not so sure if I have forgiven him. It takes time, really, I guess. But I know I am in a better place without him. I know he used to read my blog but I don't know if he still does (you know with the 'added value' in his life, and everything). 

Dear men (and women), never take on what you cannot defend. 

That line itself is for you to ponder upon and decide with if you think whatever you're going to do is worth it in the long run.

I'm writing this for a dear girlfriend of mine who is currently facing what I used to face. It's hard, I know. Just put your trust in Allah, everything will be fine. The moment we understand that Allah's decision is always in our best interest, everything will start to make sense.

Paolo Coelho said in his book 'The Alchemist' (which I have not completed yet), 

'The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.'

which to me basically translates as, you can search all the wonders of the world, marvel at them, be excited about them and such, but never forget your true intention in this dunya.

Girlfriend, I love you lots. I know I've said it a hundred times over :)

"Make yourself better and time will fix everything else" 

Patrick Harris Neil 

a better person

I love reading materials or excerpts that inspire me, and sometimes I share them on my blog. Here's one that I read this morning which somehow made me look at things in a different perspective. It's written in my native Malay language, so I'll try my best to translate them :)

Translation

This morning I heard both my parents teasing each other, and my mum even sang (!). All I could do was smile sheepishly, else if I were to butt in, it would be another different story. There's a blessing that my mum was admitted to the HUS (Sarawak General Hospital) the day before. A fish bone has gotten stuck in her gum and my dad had to accompany her to the hospital. And now they're teasing each other like mad :)

Moral of the story, Sometimes in order to have a good thing to happen, a bad thing must occur first. Always have faith in Allah, always think good of Him because He has only the best plans for us. 

End of transation

I think I have became a better person in these few months. Spiritually, and in knowing myself better and what I want. I fell in love again with things that had once upon a time kept me alive - music and literature. 

There's just one thing that still lingers in my mind. 

There's this saying by Paolo Coelho, "Enjoy the questions and forget the answers." 

Thing is, how do we enjoy the questions when we spend the start of our waking hours wondering what was wrong with ourselves? Every single day. 

If I could have the answer to that, I think I will finally be at peace. 

To the next journey and beyond.

"

shut your eyes

The best way to know if you love someone.

Is to shut your eyes.

When you shut your eyes, you eliminate the things that are unnecessary to you and focus on the most important thing that matters to you. 

Sometimes that's the best way to make a decision. 

Taken from a self-motivation book by Albert Espinosa, "The Yellow World"; 

"They always advised us to shut our eyes. For them, shutting the eyes was almost magical. You shut your eyes and it was as if you managed to get rid of all the unimportant details. Closing your eyes eliminates one of your senses, the sense that distracts you the most, that brings in the most information."

I have to agree with this because at times when I'm on the praying mat, sometimes I'll be thinking that the blinds and the mutes are the ones luckier than us because they are not distracted by the things that they can't see or hear, which helps them to concentrate in their prayers. As for myself, sometimes the slightest movement or sound can easily distract me from concentrating on my  prayers. Talk about khusyu'.

 I found this book by chance in Kinokuniya while waiting for my brother to finish his work and it IS a good read. I didn't buy it though because at the time I was torn between buying this or Paolo Coelho's 'Aleph'. I ended up not buying both. Pfft. I will soon. I will :P

I just finished my Sidney Sheldon debut novel and I gotta say that I missed a lot. Have not been reading for quite a while now and I intend to continue this passion. 

Alright, need to have some shut eye now, not because I need to decide something, it's because I have a packed day tomorrow.. hehe. 

Try shutting your eyes to make that decision you've been holding on to for so long. 

Night, angels!

We need to learn how to lose things, and see our losses in new ways. Even the most painful experiences have beauty hidden in them - Albert Espinosa

Excerpt from 'The Notebook'

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hoped to give you forever.
The Notebook

I got this line from a schoolmate's Facebook status. I guess it's true.
I have the DVD in my room but I've yet to watch it. Will watch it later (and then comment,maybe :P )

Because marriages do not fail, people fail

Earlier in the week, I read that one of the bloggers whose blog I love to read has gotten herself hitched. And I just love hearing people getting hitched. The camaderie, the beauty, the purity, I love it all. Prior to her getting hitched, she posted a little somethin' in her blog, which I have gotten to love. Here goes : -

Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person,
With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body…
Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,
Who won’t hold them against me,
Who loves me when I’m unlikable,
Who sees the small child in me, and
Who looks for the divine potential of me…
Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night
With someone who thanks God for me,
With someone I feel blessed to hold…
Because marriage means opportunity
To grow in love in friendship…
Because marriage is a discipline
To be added to a list of achievements…
Because marriages do not fail, people fail
When they enter into marriage
Expecting another to make them whole…
Because, knowing this,
I promise myself to take full responsibility
For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness
I create me, I take half of the responsibility for my marriage
Together we create our marriage…
Because of this understanding
The possibilities are limitless.

by Mari Nichols-Haining ( via Juliana Ibrahim )


I personally like the line which I had coloured in pink, because they are so true. We can't say marriages fail, because they don't. It is really up to humans. And to me, as humans, something as pure as marriage is really something that you need to put your whole soul into because it signifies your promise to God that you are going to take care of each other, no matter what.

Hugs and kisses. Missing my sayang.

Love isn't always a lightning bolt, you know? Maybe sometimes it's just a choice.

2 days ago I watched a movie called 'Love and Other Disasters' starring Brittany Murphy. I didn't watch the whole movie 'cos I was initially channel-surfing and then watched the movie halfway through.

Basically it's about Brittany whose love principle is that she will only go to bed with the one that she does not love. Until she meets Paolo whom she agrees to get married to just to save him from being deported back to his own country. The ending to her story is pretty predictable but I love every quote that was thrown here and there in the movie. Oh ya, this movie also features love story between gays :P

Let me just jot down the few quotes/lines that I like from the movie :

Emily 'Jacks' Jackson: Stop trying to cast your love instead of just meeting him
Peter Simon: When I meet him, I'll know.
Emily 'Jacks' Jackson: I'm not so sure. Love isn't always a lightning bolt, you know? Maybe sometimes it's just a choice.
Peter Simon: Well, that's easy for you to say! You're flying to Argentina to meet the love of your life!
Emily 'Jacks' Jackson: That's just it. I don't know that Paolo's the love of my life, but I've decided to give him the chance to be. Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody. Without worrying wether they'll give anything back. Or if they're gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn't something that happens to you. Maybe it's something you have to choose.

I like! Aye aye to more movies with MORE cool quotes!

Live life.

Watched an interesting movie on Astro, 'Passenger' while having my chicken noodle for dinner today. It's basically about a grieving counselor, Anne Hathaway, who needs to confront her traumatized clients, surviving a plane crash. The ending is pretty unpredictable (hint: it involves life after death..heee), but there is an important reminder I get from the movie.

In one part, Hathaway was given an eye-opener by her neighbour, "I was like you. Cautious, missing opportunities." She added, "Spread your wings, life is a moment."

Well, this mirrors yours truly. When will I spread my wings? Feeling kind of down these few weeks. Entering a new phase perhaps? Not so sure. It's like I lost myself. 

Anyways, I googled the phrases from this movie (it has a number of good phrases) and found these as well, "Erik is just reaching for life. He’s trying to put it all together. Whenever someone is faced with death, if you get another chance to live you want to live to the fullest. Eric doesn’t want to take anything for granted anymore. He wants to value what’s important to him, to live his life as passionately as he can. Because your time here is short."

:) Live life.

To find and keep the jewelry - XOXO

I have been wanting to write about this for a long time but have not gotten the chance. Excerpts from the book 'been there, done that, kept the jewelry' by Cooper Lawrence. Got the book from Elle (click here for details). 

I feel the excerpts somewhat carry some truth in them ;) Yes, from past experience, and I just want them kept as a reminder to myself, and also, as a sharing experience.

Excerpt #1

When you first start dating someone, your instincts are good and you can tell if it will work or not. Just be aware that some guys are not always as they appear at first. Some will disguise a mean spirit with humor, while a really great guy may be hiding behind a shy exterior that you interpret as snobby. If you're too quick to judge, you may let a really yummy guy slide through your fingers and wonder why there are no good guys around. Also keep in mind that being good at choosing guys doesn't mean that you are good at keeping them. If you find a really terrific guy, remember that you have to be a really terrific girl. 

Excerpt #2

Listen to what your date is saying too when you are out with him; he will tell you what he is looking for. You just have to learn to pay attention. Let's say that you are out with a perfectly normal, seemingly charming potential cuddle bunny and he is talking about his future, which involves scaling the Andes, skydiving into volcanoes, and whitewater rafting down the Amazon. First you think adventure guy sounds like he is still searching for the fountain of youth, a soul, whatever. You may see his freewheeling life as meaning he's not ready to settle down. Then he says that an adventure isn't worth having unless you share it with someone special. Hmm, good words to hear. Okay, he wants a relationship. Score one for his side. 

This same kind of interpretation works for you, too; remember this advice when you are out on a date with someone and find yourself talking about your career and all of the ins and outs of your job. He may see that as you not wanting to settle down. You can be career-focused, but you also have to be a good date. You may have tried to pay it cool, and by doing that turned off a great guy who could have been you destiny.  

Excerpt #3

The idea of the list is that you don't have to compromise. You are creating the perfect guy for yourself in this list. Then as soon as you know what qualities that perfect guy for you has, you'll recognize him when you meet him. Notice that I am saying the perfect guy "for you". It's not about a perfect guy in general, because we all know that's not possible. 

Excerpt #4

I need someone with a good sense of humor, even funny. 
I get very uptight, and I cannot be with another type-A personality. He needs to balance out my intensity and make me laugh.

Excerpt #5

Many women stick it out in relationships with guys like this, and truly believe that if they wait around long enough, "he'll change." Let me tell you this right now : it rarely happens.

Excerpt #6

Feeling secure with someone in a relationship and feeling accepted by them can make a difference in your own self-esteem and how you feel about who you are in that relationship. In other words, you need someone who will enhance and encourage those qualities that you know to be your best ones. When you meet someone and you think that he may be special, you need to be mindful of how he sees you. We have all been in that situation, where you say one thing and the person totally misconstrues what you've said, and no matter how many times we try to explain ourselves, the person is just not getting it.


What you want is someone you are completely simpatico with; you want someone who totally gets you.

Excerpt #7

Your prince charming might not always make the best first impression, whether the reason be nerves or lack of experience in dating you.So try to keep your mind open with the guys you meet, because they may reveal their true selves to you in seemingly innocuous ways. If you aren't paying attention, you might miss them.


So folks,what do you think? Feeling more confident? I did! (after reading the book). Wish me (and you) tonnes of good luck ya! 


XOXO

Falling

by Momei Qu

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?
Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?
You fall deeper with each passing day,
But try to hide it in every possible way.
He's only a friend, and nothing else,
That's the lie you keeping telling yourself.
You keep on saying he's just a bud,
But deep inside, you're falling in love.
You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,
But keep reminding yourself it isn't right.
A simple glance turns into a stare,
But you pretend that you don't care.
It's "not right" for you two to be.
Is that why you hide it so no one can see?
But how long will you pretend?
Keep lying that he's just a friend?
Perhaps your feelings you can never show.
Perhaps it's "wrong" for him to know.
Your friendship can't be risked over this,
So being his girl is an impossible wish.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere, they're in each other all along

Prepping up for a colleague's wedding dinner in Prescott Inn, Kajang. I bought ehem, an essential for the couple's daily dose of goodness *lol*

I've known this colleague for about 4 years now and to see her wed is like, hmm, you know, feeling kind of overwhelmed.Sensational. 

*wonder what it's like to get married?* ;) 

*wonder if my girlfriends will feel this way too about me* 

*wonder will that be my best decision*

*wonder how will my papa and mak feel giving away their only daughter*

still lots of questions linger

Anxious awaiting the moment when I will finally be able to seriously have all those thoughts, and most of all, for me to have the answers.

Ya Allah, grant me the wisdom to decide when the time comes.And when the time comes, grant me your blessings to have all in peace. Amin.

The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along

by Jelaluddin Rumi 

That babes, I think is priceless.

Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever.

which is why I am       

                                               keeping my distance away from you. 

                                              

Been there, done that, kept the jewelry.

TADAAA!!

 A perfect gift from Elle :)

(do note the label 'Find true love')

Perfect. Quite a surprise actually to be getting this book as a gift. Thanks Elle! Perfect for a Monday :) 

According to Elle, the book is about the types of men that you meet along the way to meeting your Mr Right. Sounds fun ;) And she says the pointers given are very much true based on her own experience. She's happily married with a pair of girl + 1 newborn boy. Heee.. semangat nih.. 

Okay, hope I will get to meet Mr Right pretty soon eh?

Honestly, it didn't hit me until just now . Am I really happy with my life now? (hint : single ya'll). Well, there are perks, of course. But on certain days (or nights) it just gets to you, you know (for eg, tonight la. dang!). I wish for a lot of good things, it's just that maybe I am asking too much. So hurm, let it all flow and let things settle their own way. 

They say confidence is sexy. Yes, I agree. Because looking back, I realize that most of the guys I've dated are lacking of that. I wonder why. I mean, as men, don't they possess that already? So eventually those relationships ended up with sort of like a healing process, where I nurse them back to health, put the confidence in them and when they are able to finally be that confident man, they took off or some disgrace landed their way right smack in the middle of us. Such a tiring process I feel. 

Love. 
Have I looked for you in all the wrong places?

Off to dreamland

If you think happiness is all about sunshine, then nobody has told you about dancing in the rain

Thank God for the rain

Thank God it's raining again.This past few days has been a series of perspiration and hotness! I spent this weekend at home 'cos I wanted to, 'cos I need rest, mind, body and soul.

The last few weeks was a chaos, what with work and personal stuffs. Got loadsa crap going through my mind. Hopefully this crap is not affecting my work. No it's not I guess, although some MORE crap are happening at the office *sigh* But I GOTTA move on no matter what!

How or what am I feeling now?

Emptiness.

Honestly, it feels like the first time I lost my first love when I was in Form 5.It's like losing your walking stick. It's like this, I really want to call him up, ask him how he's doing, go out with him again like normal friends would, BUT, I know, I know for sure I'll only be hurting myself. Like how I did in Form 5. Like how I found out that he seemed fine,that he's missing me as well, that he wished that we were back again together, but evidently he wasn't all that 'cos not long after he met someone new. It's sucks, you know. Having your dreams shattered just like that. Having to know that what you want the most is him but at the same time you can't 'cos it will inevitably kill you inside. Double-edged sword.

But what do I do? How do I navigate this? I learnt a lot after the first break-up and I told myself I'll be ok the next time 'cos I had been there. Yet, now I'm clueless.

There will be phases of this thingamajig.And now I'm at Phase 1.Still trying to take everything in, one at at time. Still at that de-attaching process.Trying to limit communications with him.Wonder will I ever be able to de-tach myself from him? From thoughts of him? It's hard. It's harder when I'm alone, especially at night. I guess I just had to keep myself busy. Damn, it's hard.

Some of my friends suggested me find someone to talk to, another guy. But I don't want to have some kind of a rebound relationship. Probably need to have limit something like that. I would love to have someone to talk to, someone who cares, someone who will not fall in love with me (vice versa). But I guess I'm not ready. Not ready in a lot of ways, not ready to open up. That's me. If I have a lot on my mind, I tend to shut myself down in my room, my house. Not going anywhere, or talk. I just want the tv and the laptop to keep me company. I guess that sometimes scare people away. Huh. Crap.Plus, I don't want to meet another liar, another mintak puji/mintak kesian dork, another sweet talker, another pussycat. I'm scared, seriously. This is what they call traumatized eh?

Guess life goes on. But it's gonna take awhile for me to take another chance.Or to do anything again. Erk, sappy la. I'm sad. Never cried this much since that Form 5. I gotta get a grip or something. I know I'm better than this. I just need to have distractions and lots of willpower.

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will - Mahatma Gandhi

The idea behind "Talentime": That as humans, we have to go through a lot of pain and some measure of suffering before we can reach greater heights.

Some might say this somewhat echoes the principles behind THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS. But more accurately, the idea really comes from my own observations that some of the best moments in my life were those moments where I failed, or had my heart broken.

Why? Because those were the moments that have shaped me, made me a better person today, and helped me attain my highest achievements - Yasmin Ahmad

Friends, please forgive me for being off at times, for not being a friend I've always been lately.

The Crippled Butterfly (excerpt from the storyteller's blog)

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If nature allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.

And we could never fly.

Certainly, we all need a helping hand at one point or another in our lives. And the strong must always be mindful of the weak.

But I believe the better way would be to lead by example and teach people how to struggle; not deprive them of it.

Dear Boss, I want a ...

The Secret to Having Happy Employees

by Jay Goltz
Thursday, March 11, 2010

provided by

About 10 years ago I was having my annual holiday party, and my niece had come with her newly minted M.B.A. boyfriend. As he looked around the room, he noted that my employees seemed happy. I told him that I thought they were.

Then, figuring I would take his new degree for a test drive, I asked him how he thought I did that. "I'm sure you treat them well," he replied.

"That's half of it," I said. "Do you know what the other half is?"

He didn't have the answer, and neither have the many other people that I have told this story. So what is the answer? I fired the unhappy people. People usually laugh at this point. I wish I were kidding.

I'm not. I have learned the long, hard and frustrating way that as a manager you cannot make everyone happy. You can try, you can listen, you can solve some problems, you can try some more. Good management requires training, counseling and patience, but there comes a point when you are robbing the business of precious time and energy.

Don't get me wrong. This doesn't happen a lot. There's no joy in the act of firing someone. And it's not always the employee's fault — there are many bad bosses out there. Bad management can make a good employee dysfunctional. On the other hand, good management will not always make a dysfunctional employee good. And sometimes people who would be great employees somewhere else just don't fit your company, whether it is the type of business or the company culture.

In the worst cases, the problem of a bad fit can have a bigger impact than just one employee's performance. Being in charge does not necessarily mean you are in control, and being in control does not necessarily mean being in charge. Have you ever seen a company or department paralyzed by someone who is unhappy and wants to take hostages? It is remarkable how much damage one person can do. If you haven't seen it, I suggest you watch "The Caine Mutiny." Basically, one guy takes apart the ship. He was unhappy. It only takes one.

This is only my opinion. I don't have a Ph.D., an M.B.A., or even an economics degree. What I do have is a happy company. And that makes me happy. Now I know some people argue that business is about making money, and not everyone has to be happy. That is also an opinion. Everyone has a right to his or her opinion. When you own a company, you also have the right to surround yourself with the people you choose.

I have spent the last year and a half focusing on cutting costs, figuring out how the market has changed, and worrying about the economy. Things seem to be getting better, or perhaps I am just getting used to it.

Either way, I had a good day today. Not because I got a big order, great financial reports or even an employee stopping by to tell me what an awesome boss I am. (That generally doesn't happen. You have to tell yourself. It's a boss thing.) I had a great day because I spent most of it walking around the company and appreciating the fact that even after a year and a half of soft sales and cutbacks and furloughs, I have wonderful people working for me. They care. They are committed. They understand the whole customer–staff–company triangle, where all of the legs support each other.

If you read books on great companies, they usually leave out a dirty little secret. It doesn't make for good public relations — like talking about how you "empower people" or how your "greatest assets" are your people. Both of these well–worn clichés are true. What is also true is that it's hard to build a great company with the wrong people.

When you have the right people, business is much easier. I know because I have tried it both ways.

Jay Goltz owns five small businesses in Chicago.

Female dog!

* Kuman di seberang laut nampak, gajah di depan mata tak nampak - Malay proverb, literally "sees a microbe across the sea, but cannot see the elephant in front of the eyes". Used to refer to selective or biased criticisism or praise, or hypocrisy.

It's great that Tuan Syed can see the kuman* (microbe) across the sea, and is truly concerned about it. It would have been greater if he would see (and write about) the gajah (elephant) in front of our very eyes. Then again, perhaps he has! After all, the kuman can't fight back, can they, whereas the gajahmight just stomp one to death!

Sincerely,
Malaysian Heart

The post above, so true man! How come some people get to see the most awful things about other people but fail to see the ugly truth about themselves? Seriously! Some people can be so mean and not know it! Bitches!