Sunday, October 10, 2010

To find and keep the jewelry - XOXO

I have been wanting to write about this for a long time but have not gotten the chance. Excerpts from the book 'been there, done that, kept the jewelry' by Cooper Lawrence. Got the book from Elle (click here for details). 

I feel the excerpts somewhat carry some truth in them ;) Yes, from past experience, and I just want them kept as a reminder to myself, and also, as a sharing experience.

Excerpt #1

When you first start dating someone, your instincts are good and you can tell if it will work or not. Just be aware that some guys are not always as they appear at first. Some will disguise a mean spirit with humor, while a really great guy may be hiding behind a shy exterior that you interpret as snobby. If you're too quick to judge, you may let a really yummy guy slide through your fingers and wonder why there are no good guys around. Also keep in mind that being good at choosing guys doesn't mean that you are good at keeping them. If you find a really terrific guy, remember that you have to be a really terrific girl. 

Excerpt #2

Listen to what your date is saying too when you are out with him; he will tell you what he is looking for. You just have to learn to pay attention. Let's say that you are out with a perfectly normal, seemingly charming potential cuddle bunny and he is talking about his future, which involves scaling the Andes, skydiving into volcanoes, and whitewater rafting down the Amazon. First you think adventure guy sounds like he is still searching for the fountain of youth, a soul, whatever. You may see his freewheeling life as meaning he's not ready to settle down. Then he says that an adventure isn't worth having unless you share it with someone special. Hmm, good words to hear. Okay, he wants a relationship. Score one for his side. 

This same kind of interpretation works for you, too; remember this advice when you are out on a date with someone and find yourself talking about your career and all of the ins and outs of your job. He may see that as you not wanting to settle down. You can be career-focused, but you also have to be a good date. You may have tried to pay it cool, and by doing that turned off a great guy who could have been you destiny.  

Excerpt #3

The idea of the list is that you don't have to compromise. You are creating the perfect guy for yourself in this list. Then as soon as you know what qualities that perfect guy for you has, you'll recognize him when you meet him. Notice that I am saying the perfect guy "for you". It's not about a perfect guy in general, because we all know that's not possible. 

Excerpt #4

I need someone with a good sense of humor, even funny
I get very uptight, and I cannot be with another type-A personality. He needs to balance out my intensity and make me laugh.

Excerpt #5

Many women stick it out in relationships with guys like this, and truly believe that if they wait around long enough, "he'll change." Let me tell you this right now : it rarely happens.

Excerpt #6

Feeling secure with someone in a relationship and feeling accepted by them can make a difference in your own self-esteem and how you feel about who you are in that relationship. In other words, you need someone who will enhance and encourage those qualities that you know to be your best ones. When you meet someone and you think that he may be special, you need to be mindful of how he sees you. We have all been in that situation, where you say one thing and the person totally misconstrues what you've said, and no matter how many times we try to explain ourselves, the person is just not getting it.

What you want is someone you are completely simpatico with; you want someone who totally gets you.

Excerpt #7

Your prince charming might not always make the best first impression, whether the reason be nerves or lack of experience in dating you.So try to keep your mind open with the guys you meet, because they may reveal their true selves to you in seemingly innocuous ways. If you aren't paying attention, you might miss them.

So folks,what do you think? Feeling more confident? I did! (after reading the book). Wish me (and you) tonnes of good luck ya! 


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