Monday, June 24, 2013

a better person

I love reading materials or excerpts that inspire me, and sometimes I share them on my blog. Here's one that I read this morning which somehow made me look at things in a different perspective. It's written in my native Malay language, so I'll try my best to translate them :)


This morning I heard both my parents teasing each other, and my mum even sang (!). All I could do was smile sheepishly, else if I were to butt in, it would be another different story. There's a blessing that my mum was admitted to the HUS (Sarawak General Hospital) the day before. A fish bone has gotten stuck in her gum and my dad had to accompany her to the hospital. And now they're teasing each other like mad :)

Moral of the story, Sometimes in order to have a good thing to happen, a bad thing must occur first. Always have faith in Allah, always think good of Him because He has only the best plans for us. 

End of transation

I think I have became a better person in these few months. Spiritually, and in knowing myself better and what I want. I fell in love again with things that had once upon a time kept me alive - music and literature. 

There's just one thing that still lingers in my mind. 
There's this saying by Paolo Coelho, "Enjoy the questions and forget the answers." 
Thing is, how do we enjoy the questions when we spend the start of our waking hours wondering what was wrong with ourselves? Every single day. 

If I could have the answer to that, I think I will finally be at peace. 

To the next journey and beyond.


Thursday, June 20, 2013


The joy of being an only daughter 

Do you know that the Chinese believe that daughters are their father's girlfriend from a previous life? That is why daughters tend to be closer to their dads than they are to their mothers. 

When I was a teenager, I was closer to my father because we could talk about a lot of things. Papa built his success from scratch and he gave a lot of advice on how to study and he even shared his experiences of studying one of the toughest subject of all time - law. Can't believe he actually recorded his own voice of narrating the Acts and played them back so he could memorize them faster o_O

And because it makes me happy to see my father happy, my only goal growing up was to excel in my studies, which went along fine until I went to the university - but thank God I survived :P

Honestly, I owe everything to Allah and my parents's blessings. 

One thing I notice about my father throughout the years was how he reacted towards his ups and downs. I know, I have been writing a little bit about it in some of my entries.  Thing is, doesn't matter whether he has the money or not, one thing that remains constant until now, is how humble he is. What varies is how people react towards him when he was at the pinnacle of success and when he was at the lowest point of his life. The things people do (or don't do) when they are in need (or not) *sigh*

Talking about success, the other day, I was having dinner with some well-to-do families, and all they talk about were cars, wealth and businesses. We were also seated with the less fortunate and it saddened me to see them all out in trying to impress the rich ones. That is so wrong. I know it happens a lot in the society as well. Sometimes these crazy fascination with the wonders of the world makes me sick.

Moving on to a lighter note, I hope I will one day find a man who has similar characteristic as my father, humble, kind and responsible. Not many men possess those qualities nowadays. My friend from my hometown kept on asking me to go back to Kuching for good and get a local man to get married to. Geez, I don't think there are anymore available bachelors in Kuching, hahaha. The good ones are already taken! Anyways, I am seriously considering going back to Kuching, maybe in the next 2 years. I keep saying that, I know :P Just hope the rezeki comes in a bit earlier ya? I miss spending time with my family, watching them grow old and grow up. 

Lastly, Happy Father's Day to all daddies out there!
Be a good example and be there as much as you can for your children because it does make a lot of difference of how they perceive the idea of a father figure. And if you ever (God forbid) decide that it doesn't work out with your spouse, please DO NOT plant all kinds of negative perception into your kids's mind just so they won't ask around for their mom/dad. They have the right to the truth. 

Alright now, adios!

Find beauty in everything. Helps cleanse your heart.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

shut your eyes

The best way to know if you love someone.

Is to shut your eyes.

When you shut your eyes, you eliminate the things that are unnecessary to you and focus on the most important thing that matters to you. 

Sometimes that's the best way to make a decision. 

Taken from a self-motivation book by Albert Espinosa, "The Yellow World"; 

"They always advised us to shut our eyes. For them, shutting the eyes was almost magical. You shut your eyes and it was as if you managed to get rid of all the unimportant details. Closing your eyes eliminates one of your senses, the sense that distracts you the most, that brings in the most information."

I have to agree with this because at times when I'm on the praying mat, sometimes I'll be thinking that the blinds and the mutes are the ones luckier than us because they are not distracted by the things that they can't see or hear, which helps them to concentrate in their prayers. As for myself, sometimes the slightest movement or sound can easily distract me from concentrating on my  prayers. Talk about khusyu'.

 I found this book by chance in Kinokuniya while waiting for my brother to finish his work and it IS a good read. I didn't buy it though because at the time I was torn between buying this or Paolo Coelho's 'Aleph'. I ended up not buying both. Pfft. I will soon. I will :P

I just finished my Sidney Sheldon debut novel and I gotta say that I missed a lot. Have not been reading for quite a while now and I intend to continue this passion. 

Alright, need to have some shut eye now, not because I need to decide something, it's because I have a packed day tomorrow.. hehe. 

Try shutting your eyes to make that decision you've been holding on to for so long. 

Night, angels!

We need to learn how to lose things, and see our losses in new ways. Even the most painful experiences have beauty hidden in them - Albert Espinosa

Friday, June 7, 2013

hungover and dozed off

Just got back from watching the 3rd sequel of the comedy.

My verdict?

Zzzzzz..  Yeah, I was literally dozing off in the cinema.