your heart is stronger than you give it credit for

Hello guys! How are you? 

Gosh, it has been more than a year since I last wrote anything here. I miss writing but life just took hold of me a year ago and I found myself pretty much occupied with work most of the time. The days and nights are crazy, weekends too, basically just devoting my life to work. So nowadays I would just upload stuff on my Instagram, which is more convenient :) I miss writing on this blog, I seriously do! Now I've quit that company (yup!) and just landed myself on a new job, doing what I used to do some few years ago but for a slightly demanding client and a more demanding environment. What the cat was I thinking when I took the offer?!? They say be careful of what you wish for kannnn?

Nah, amek kau.

So these days, I'm feeling quite stressed out to the point that I thought of just leaving the corporate world and go migrate to Perth and do something more relaxing, like work in a bookstore, sell something in the morning market or something along the line. I'm not getting any younger so I feel like I should be looking after my health more and feed my soul more with good things. So, while we are at it, if you are someone who lives in Perth and looking for someone to look after your bookstore yada yada, please hire me! :P (not kidding)

On my way to work every morning, I would be caught up in the deadly PJ traffic, so I would have some time to check out my Facebook in the car. One morning, I stumbled upon a video by Aida Azlin talking about heartbreaks. No, I'm not heartbroken or anything like that but the points that she was talking about in the video was so good. Ok, I'll share some bits and pieces of them here:

1. There's no shortcuts to healing but we can all try to cope with the pain. 

Some of us just numb and suppress this feeling, some of us cry to sleep, some of us throw ourselves to our work to keep ourselves busy, whatever coping mechanism that we choose, know that it will only take your mind off your real feeling just for a while. It doesn't deal with the feeling that you have. The only way to deal with the pain is to write it out, and give it time. 

2. Please help yourself to heal.

Your heart is stronger than you give it credit for. While you are still hurting, your heart is already preparing itself to heal, to forgive, to move on. But if we are still picking on our scabs, i.e keep on revisiting old memories, or when we insist to hold on to things or people who are already left, we are being our own obstacle to our own healing. 

3. Use that energy to be creative.

All this feeling that you have right now because of the heartbreak is a form of energy. Use that energy, in a productive way. Don't use it to scheme for revenge etc. Use the energy to be creative. Write it out, paint it out, go run a marathon, climb a mountain. Just use that intense energy to benefit you. Use it to grow into a much wiser, stronger, better you. Like a version 2.0. Look at what Adele did. She made a whole album about her heartbreak and it won her 6 Grammys and made her lots of money. 

Such wonderful advice, right? Since then, I have been utilizing the hours in the morning traffic listening to her videos and that helped me to be more motivated and inspired to start work. Come to think of it, I think this is the answer that I was asking Allah for when I just couldn't take the work stress any longer some time back. And amazingly, most of the times kan, I would ask Him specific question like, is it really my fault or am I being too sensitive? The next thing I know, I get the answers through Aida's video, talking about the exact same thing :)

You are truly all-Hearing, all-Seeing and the Most Compassionate

So guys, if you love these stuff, head over to Facebook or Youtube and search for Aida Azlin. She does amazing videos and she writes about her reflection on life through weekly love letters.

Til then, see you when I see you. Take care and please pray that Allah will make it easy for me in my work and everything else in between. I hope to write more soon, insyallah :)

don't settle

Push yourself. Don't settle. Just live.

I just finished watching the movie 'Me Before You' on streaming. When the movie first came out at the cinemas, I thought that it was just another one of those sappy, soon-you-will-forget-about-it kinda romantic movie. Weeks after that, reviews came about and a few people asked me if I had watched it. Curiosity grew on me and by the time I wanted to watch it at the movies, they were no longer showing it.

The movie tells of a young girl, Lou, who is given a job to take care of a disabled man, Will. Now, Lou is a cheerful, witty and charming girl who is so full of life and so full of potential. Will, on the other hand, is sarcastic, sad and hopeless, all due to the accident that he got into that made him paralyzed from the chest down. Prior to the accident, Will engages actively in sports, water sports, cycling and everything under the sun, which explained how he became how he is now. With Lou's positivity and funny outlook on life, she successfully made Will her best friend, brought him out to see the sun, to the beaches, and then, they developed feelings for each other. I won't reveal the ending if you haven't seen it, because you absolute have to watch it!

I love Lou's character.. She is sooo funny and sooo positive. She stands on her ground, even if she was facing her own employer.. She doesn't give a damn and she is just original.. People like these inspire me greatly :)

Please watch it okay?

long night drives

There is something about long night drives that take the stress away. And it has been like that for me for years. I remember years ago when I was in staying in Seri Kembangan, nearly every Sunday night, I would go out of my house just to cruise around SK area, sometimes to get myself a cone of McD's ice-cream, sometimes just to drive around. But the feeling is such a serene feeling, made my sleeps better. Then I moved to Damansara, which is a pretty congested area even on weekdays. So I couldn't really continue my love for night drives because the traffic jams would make me even more stress! 

Sometime last year I moved to somewhere as peaceful as how Seri Kembangan was and I regained access to long drives again, woohoo! I actually just got back from grocery-shopping at Tesco to just get some fresh milk, juices and some woman-ly stuff :P And also to drive after a whole day at home. And uh, to get some McD's ice-cream and apple pie which I have been craving for months. Oh, by the way, next to where I stay, there is this big lake that is beside the main road, so am really, really loving this place.

After graduating my weekend classes (alhamdulillah!), now I have more ample time for myself to do what I like during the weekends, and for a few weeks now after the graduation, I kept thinking on what to do on weekends! Feels so weird :P 

I thought of taking up more physical kinda classes, like Aikido, for example. I used to take Tae-kwon-do lessons when I was in high school and I love it. I love the teamwork, the teachers, my team, the classes, everything. Sometimes we get invited to perform for some of the state's sports event like the launching of Rakan Muda (yeah, remember that?), and I love the ambiance of it all, the sweats, the rehearsals, the pride of wearing the Tae-kwon-do attire while carrying the national flags. Gosh, I miss those times and I miss having such a passion for something that I love, I miss being around those who have the same level of passion that I do, if not more. 

I have a few classes I really want to join this year to challenge my fitness level a little bit. Hehe.
How about you? Anything you haven't done that you really, really wanna do this year? 

of faith and food

After a longggg usrah hiatus, yesterday we were all united again talking about the 4 women who were promised Jannah. I'm not gonna go over them but just gonna share the lessons that I've learned. We have only started with Asiah, Firaun's wife,yesterday so here goes : 

That we will be tested with what we love most and the most dear to us. 

Say if we love our wealth a little bit too much, Allah will test us with our wealth, maybe lost of wealth or tested with abundance of wealth but we won't be thankful for it. Firaun was tested with his wealth. 

That Allah's protection is much more than a mother's protection. 

When Allah gave revelation for Prophet Musa to be placed in a basket and put into a river, Musa's mother confidently let him go into the river with tawakal and full faith that Musa will be in good hands. 

That what can block you from seeing the truth is arrogance. 

When Prophet Musa was born, he was blessed by Allah in a way that if anyone who looks at him, their hearts will be filled with love. Even the midwife who helped deliver Musa (and at the same time is also Firaun's 'spy') fell in love with the bundle of love and did not report his birth to Firaun. But Firaun didn't have any love for Musa at all because of his arrogance.

That we should continue learning our deen even if our spouses are not doing the same.

Nowadays, usually it is the women who go to majlis ilmu or majlis agama. The number of men most of the time doesn't even reach half of the female audience, so some wives are actually complaining that it is them who are always on their feet trying to better themselves whilst their husband prefer to stay at home. However, Allah shows that Asiah has a tyrant husband but she never complains.

That it is easy to associate a person with what is shown on social media.

Don't judge anyone outwardly. Don't have opinion on anything. She might be hiding her faith in her heart.

And the one I love the most is this one.

That you can be strong with Allah despite whatever that you go through.

When my naqibah (the sister who leads the usrah) was in Yemen, she had to wear the niqab because that is what everyone is wearing. But when she wears the niqab, it feels as if she is alone with Allah, that she can freely do zikir whenever and wherever she wants because her face is covered, so people won't say she is crazy per se for talking or chanting to herself. And even if she smirks or do all kinds of facial expressions, others won't be able to see it so it is sort of an escapism from things that can bring trouble to her. She will only need to answer to Allah. I was like wow, I never thought of it that way. But it doesn't mean that I'm gonna wear just the same okay? Not yet, long way to go. Not sure if I can even go there :P

The end :)

I had an off day today and decided to go and try out that Cronut from Dotty's that everyone is raving about in Instagram. Go search! Hehe. I dragged my partner-in-crime along, my bestfriend, Mimi.

Here you go. 

This Salted Egg Yolk Cronut is priced at RM11 per piece and I kid you not, for that price, it is so worth it! The layers of crispiness and the mix of sweet and salty filling is just to-die-for. 

You must try this as soon as possible.

I had this lamb stew which was recommended by the very helpful waiter. Not too bad although I think they could use a little bit more flavour to add to it. I meant the lamb stew, not the waiter. Hehe

The shop is located in Taman Tun Dr Ismail (TTDI) at Jalan Tun Mohd Fuad 2. Same row with Mcdonald's. 

After that, we had a quick stop at Paradigm Mall to fix my phone. I couldn't send out emails from my phone until it is finally fixed today. Hooray! Had to do it from my laptop every time. After getting it fixed, I had to send my date home a little bit earlier because she had an emergency. 

Going to be on an early flight tomorrow and I have not packed my bags yet. Until I see you on my next post, take care :)

peugeot in Jannah please!

After class yesterday, my classmates and I were chatting while walking towards our cars. I've never seen what they drive, so yesterday I did. One was driving a Toyota Camry, one was driving Honda City, and another was.. a brand new Peugeot 508! My dream car! 

I on the other hand, am only driving a Proton :')

Feeling a bit of inferiority complex (that's what they call it,right? ahaa). It's like that peer pressure thing we had in high school, the only difference now is the 'toys' are getting more expensive. 

Couldn't help feeling a bit of envy seeing their sleek cars drove away. So much class and elegance, I thought. If only I could have one myself. I mean, at this age, I should have one, I thought again. I can have one but long ago, I chose not to spend my money on cars and decide to spend it on house instead. So what I have now is actually a product of my own choice.  But, I don't even have a house now :') 

Some time ago, I also decided to change my lifestyle. So there's a lot of things I used to do and have that I don't do and have now. 

But that's not the point.

I was still driving and thinking about the cars when an interview on the radio caught my attention. It was on IkimFM and as usual, I can't remember the ustaz's name. But the thing he said that I remember clearly and then had it on repeat on my mind was, 

'Bagilah aku tetap mensyukuri nikmatMu'

Masyallah, dear God, You're talking to me right there, kan? Clearly I am not thankful enough and as usual, You were always there to remind me :')

So now I'm back on track (on track sangat) and all those remeh-temeh things I have thrown out of the window. This path is just so full temptations and at times demand my highest level of patience and syukur. Be patient, Weina, please. Sekejap je dunia ni ok. Please persevere. For all you don't get in this life, insyaallah, Allah s.w.t will reward you with far more better things that you can't possibly imagine. Hang in there, Weina. 

Better still, redeem your Peugeot in Jannah ok, Weina? 

mis(ter) chief

I received this message this morning. One of my nephew has finally had his dream came true. He is now a police inspector!

It made me so proud because it is his dream since he was a little boy, since I babysat him, and he is ALWAYS talking about being a police inspector. Now he's all grown up, married and finally got his dream job, alhamdulillah. I teared a little when I came to know about this because I know how hard it was at first for him and for his family to settle everything that has been going on in their lives. 

With every hardship, there is ease. (94:5-6)

And Allah is the Most Generous and the Most Loving.

how i got my phone back

Sometimes I amuse myself (in a bengong kind of way of course, hoho). 

I've not been on smartphone for a whole month, you see, due to some OS/system issue thingamajig. And my fault la because instead of sending it straight to the service centre, I sent it for repair at one of the shops instead (my phone is still under warranty). The guys in the shop pulak, the type who suka main2. I get it, they're just guys but well :(

Everytime I call or go to the shop to ask about my phone update, they will say next week, next Friday, next Wednesday. So with each visit, I will become frustrated, in addition to their lots of talk and lame excuses. And I'm not the kind who layan excuses and I'm not exactly patient myself (sabar is so hard did I tell you?) After a month, last Wednesday I called them up for the umpteenth time and they asked me to call back on Friday to check if the 'office boy' from the service centre has delivered the phone back to them that day. On Friday morning, I called them up and they confirmed that my phone is ready for pick-up. My Friday was a bliss, work was good, people were joyful, weather was superb, the drive back from work was amazing, and even the car infront of me paid for my toll alhamdulillah, may Allah bless him/her.

When I reached the store and they asked for receipt, I panicked. I didn't bring it. Actually I lost it. So they said, "takde resit, tak boleh amik." I searched high and low in my bag and purse, confirmed, I lost it. So they said, there's another procedure to go through if I didn't have my receipt with me, because according to them, there have been many cases where other people has been taking phones on behalf of the owner, but turned out that they were cheating. The other procedure will be to come back to the store the next day yada-yada. By that time, I was already feeling angry and some more frustrated inside.  I raised my voice, "But the phone memang I punya. I waited a month for this."

I know it is my fault for losing the receipt but I was hoping for them to just release the phone already since I've been going to their store every week just to get updates. They kept on saying no, and I turned my back, looking at the phone cover display on the wall. I was actually restraining my anger. Next thing I knew, tears were already streaming down my face, and I was wiping them off. In the background, one of the salesman talked to the Supervisor in Chinese, "What was the matter? Just give her the phone la." Probably seeing that I was already crying. 

"So macamana? U datang esok ok." the Supervisor said. I turned to him, tears still streaming down my face. "Alamak, you tak payah nangis la. Macam ni pun mau nangis ka," he asked. I wanted to scream, I WAITED A WHOLE MONTH AND CHECKING UP EVERY WEEK FOR UPDATES ENDING UP IN FRUSTRATION EVERY TIME, NOW YOU'RE ASKING ME TO GO THERE AGAIN THE NEXT DAY? 

Drama kan?

But I didn't say that la. I kept quiet. He took the phone from their cabinet and flipped through their invoice, looking for my name. "You sign sini and letak no IC" Still keeping quiet, I signed. "Kalau ada apa-apa nanti still rosak, you datang balik sini tau." In my heart, I was saying 'No Way!'. I think I smiled a little, that 'Yeah right." kinda smile, you know. Lol. 

I must have make it to their rare (read : emo) customer list. Well, at least now I have my smartphone, yay! (nampak tak how important it is to my daily activities.. hoho) It is a need, not a luxury!

Life is now back to normal. 

Have a good weekend!

my aglio olio story

Super sleepy! 

But I just need to mark one achievement of mine today :D

I was so inspired by Gordon Ramsay's Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner slot last weekend, where he has prepared 3 sets of meals complete with desserts and one of the meals happen to be my favourite - Aglio Olio Spaghetti! Kinda weird that I never thought of trying to cook it on my own (until today).

Aglio Olio has been my favourite kind of spaghetti since I ate the best at Italiannies years ago. Unfortunately, as they say all good things must come to an end and sadly, the quality and yumminess of their Aglio has deteriorated over the years :(

Anyways, I was so in the mood for cooking today so I bought capsicum, tomatoes and chilli flakes at Jaya Grocer and rushed back home. I've got the rest of the ingredients at home (being a BIG fan of spaghetti :))  )

Chopped, boiled, drained, stir-fried, deep fried.

 

My aglio was kind of a vegetarian spaghetti, you can say. Hehe (minus the frankfurter though). The next time around I'll throw in some olives. Yummm..everything, was my favourite. To side the pasta, I've prepared some simple marinated fried chicken (also inspired from the same show). Should've put in some paprika powder or curry leaves into the marinate for that extra umph but never mind, there is always next time, insyaAllah. 

Voila, there you go!

Have set aside some for tomorrow's breakfast as well :P 

So what's next on the menu huh? ;)

the ugly truth

You know how we say we don't want to do something anymore (i.e procrastinate, dwell and stuff) but somehow we end up doing it anyway? 

This morning I was watching the movie 'The Ugly Truth' and sort of regretted it. I enjoyed it actually (everytime I watch it) but sometimes something about a movie storyline reminds you of your past, you get what I mean?

So after watching this movie, I sort of miss the part where the boyfriend goes to you to just check up on you and see if everything is ok, just because you are not your usual cheerful self that day and he was just beside you since morning. Yeah, I miss that part. That checking up on me thing. Haish. 

Oh well. Stuff happens.

That's the ugly truth. 

hubby and coffee

Was walking back from the Ramadhan bazaar today when I saw a shop signage and did a double take. 

It says "Hubby and Coffee"

Or so I thought. 

It was actually "Hobby and Coffee". 

Hahahhahahaha. 

Kat situ jugak I gelak and shook my head. Imagine if you could actually SHOP for a husband (AND have a refund policy in place :P )

walk a mile.... in my shoes

You know, throughout this trying time of ours, one of the good thing that came out of it of which I am so proud of is how hard my brothers work and how unselfish they are in sharing and giving up their income to help the family. 

From young, we were blessed with abundance of rezeki that most of the time, we don't have to share anything because we could afford to have one each etc. Now that the tables have turned, I could see that at first it was very hard for us to get adjusted to this new 'lifestyle'. We had to ration our food, like, everyone can only get 1 piece of whatever food was on the table, eat canned sardines, KFC is considered a luxury etc. 

Now, my brothers are the biggest contributors to the family. The first one is always willing to help with the finance whenever the family needs it, the second one working full-time and sometimes part time too (he does banci at times. What is banci in English again? Big bucks too, ok) and is always trying to find out ways to generate income. This brother who used to be that one selfish sibling who wouldn't share anything with anyone. I'm so proud of you :') And the last brother, the youngest one, is still studying. When he gets his PTPTN loan, he gave most of it to my father to help finance the household. I'm so, so proud of you guys. 

So when someone, especially family members from the extended side, come to my mother asking why are we insufficient on cash when each of us are working, it breaks me. Because they don't and will never understand the plight that we are in, that each of us are in. I'm no fan of Rita Rudaini, the Malaysian actress who is fighting for nafkah for her kids since her divorce with the nation's footballer, but I agree completely when she said that "Hanya orang yang mempunyai anak saja yang tahu dan faham tentang perbelanjaan anak-anak." Or in other words, you gotta step into one's shoe to fully understand what they're going through and why they're doing what they do. 

I'm so proud of you, my brothers. We've gone a long, longgg way. I believe this is a test to prepare us for something bigger :) Nothing is ever a concidence, kan? 

I love you guys a whole lot. 

3 guys and 1 hot lady

Good-looking fellas at the recent maulid in DBP, Kuching

Lastly, 

thursday tote

I don't normally buy Reader's Digest, and I don't know why I grabbed this off the shelf and then paid for it at the counter. This comes with a free pink tote. 

Thing is, I don't collect totes.

And I don't like pink either. 

#totallypointlessentry

HAPPY THORSDAY!

take a bow

Morning.

Always my favourite time of the day. Especially when I have a breakfast date with the love of my life. Was ecstatic, you can't imagine how excited I was. 

10 am. Got your message cancelling our date. Your landlord's coming over to get some letters. 

Well, it had BS written all over it. It was actually her, asking for your help to get some furniture for her new place, which coincidentally is next to yours. 

Friday night. 

Waited for hours for our dinner date. Got your message, you're still out with your colleagues (really?). When we finally meet, you told me you've eaten. And I was.... yes, super hungry. 

Sunday morning. 

You told me to get you a coffee. Thing is, you wanted that 5 minutes of my absence, to reply her 'Good Morning'  messages.

Saturday night.

You excused yourself to go to the gents. Again, that 5 minutes of your absence, to reply her Facebook comments on your page. 

I would catch you at times, scrolling through her Facebook profile to check up on her. 

The same person you said you will never be with. The same thing you said you would never do. 

"There's different kinds of love. Some people you can love and let them go, because they have their careers etc. Like you and Julie. 

Some people, you just want to love and take care of."

I should've known better. Should've known that coward in you. 

For that you deserve each and every bit of this song.

Well, goodbye to you, painful, selfish memories. 

2013's ending in just about 3 weeks and you're an access baggage I should've just dropped off months ago.

return home

Just found out that a friend's father has passed away today. Innalillah. Sad thing is, she's currently in Paris for a migration project for the next 3 months. Not sure if she's going back for the funeral. This news broke  my heart. 

Imagine being in her shoes :'(

Nothing in this life is a coincidence. Gotta be prepared, man. 

step by step

I didn't know that I was actually under a lot of stress lately until I got hit by migraine a few days ago. Can't remember when was the last I had it. It started at the office after I was done with the emails. Thank God the emails didn't come in loads like they did last week, and I gotta thank my wonderful colleagues too for always helping me out when the mailbox was bombarded with a whole load of them. Was contemplating to even cancel my class that night but haish, too precious to cancel. Thank God the traffic was ok on the way back home. Reached home took some pills, rested and then went to class. 

I gotta admit, maybe I didn't take care of myself well enough lately, which also might have contributed to this. Doctor advised to go for walks (okay,doc. been pilling up on the kilos already *cries*) and also do some breathing exercises. Procrastination, hear hear.

I'm not too sure the exact source of stress. I do know that lately some part of my brain has triggered some memory, just macam tu jek. Padahal all this while dah lama tak terfikir pasal yang lepas2. And lately, I feel like I've been pushed to the limit by people close to me on this thing we call love. I know they mean well for me, they always do. They'd recommend people and stuff, but I don't know la. Sometimes part of me miss that part of dating etc, but most of the time, I'm think I'm still a little bit scared. How la? Slow slow je la kot. Anyways, I believe that He has my best interest at hand, so I don't have to worry too much. Ok kawan2ku yang sedang membaca luahan hatiku ni, don't worry about me too much ok. I am fine the way I am now :P Dating's fun but hanging out with u girls lagi fun tau  >.< 

Baby steps, katanyerrr.. 

Just a little note to all heartbreakers who might be reading this, when you break someone's heart, you rip them off everything that made them who they are. 

Their confidence. 

May He grant yourselves some humanity and love in your hearts. 

Ameen.

sexy and i know it

Was in line at the KK Mart counter today and it was already my turn to have my purchases priced. Suddenly this African lady, with her hot pink hair and her hugs-u-in-all-the-not-so-right-places top, cut in front of me, putting her purchases of booze (i think, they were either bottles of booze or turpentine, i couldn't differentiate :P) on the counter. The cashier was not local, I think he was Nepalese or Bangladeshi, not so sure. In my mind, I dah set. Sure la the cashier would layan this hot momma first, tak kisah la she cut the line ke tak. 'Cos she's hot like that, you know. And I was just wearing this faded T-shirt and jeans *cries* 

I was all the time thinking, nowadays mana ada orang baik2 dah. Semua tengok berduit or not, cantik or not, I was mumbling in my head.

Suddenly he turned to me and said, "Akak, barang akak?" Hohoho. I was soooo taken aback. Turns out still ada orang baik2 ye. There's hope, there's hope!

That made my day today.

I'm pretty easy to please, like that. 

:)

nephews's engagement

Almost half my life, I have been away from my family due to studies and work. The downfall of that is I didn't get to watch my siblings grow up and my parents grow older. And it doesn't really help that I only go back to see them twice a year. So when I do go back, I make sure I spend time with them, although sometimes they don't really see it from that point of view. Sobs (blame the drama on the hormones, yes). So it's a little sad to see that when I go back, my parents have shrunk in sizes (do old people shrink that fast?) and my siblings getting way taller than me. Pfftt.

Anyway, who I got to see grew up were my nephews and nieces who are staying here in KL. I baby-sitted them since they were little, see them go through primary and secondary schools, college, work and now this.

Their engagement.

2 of my nephews have just gotten engaged last month. When I got to know the news, I was like 'What?? But they just grew up!' Hehe. Obviously they grew up well. Seriously, man. Their mom taught them well.  Not being biased, I swear. 

My aunts and niece

Eldest nephew's fiance, Lyana.

Engagement was held in Bangi. 

Nieces and nieces-in-laws

My niece at an open house after the engagement. The food there was superb (of course I'd remember such important detail!)

Third nephew's fiance, Qa Tyq.

Engagement held in Mersing, Johor

Qa Tyq surrounded by the closest girls in her life - sister, future sis-in-law and her bestfriend

My aunt made up the decoration for both my nephews's hantaran

                           

 

                                                 

We stopped by the beach in Mersing for some fresh air after the engagement. This is the stop people use to get to Tioman Island. Oh well, next time jer la pergi Tioman. Was rushing to get back to KL that same day.  

Alhamdulillah everything went well. Their weddings will be held next year, insha allah. Not sure how the mom was feeling because she was super busy, but I know she was super proud :')

pledge for organ donation today!

Organ donation. 

So many debates revolving around them but one thing for sure is our ultimate intention in donating our organs.

"One who saved a life would be as if he has saved the lives of all mankind."

(Qur'an 5:32)

Based on the statistics up to August this year, that's only last month, there are only about 0.8% out of the entire population of the nation who have actually pledged their organs. You see, that's not even 1%, how sad is that? I'm not sure what's the cause, I guess this will need to undergo a survey, but I would think that this would have to do with the people's traditional beliefs of wanting to preserve the body as it is when it goes into the grave. That's just my guess. I mean, when I pledged for my organ donation in 2009, it took me 2 years to finally tell my parents about it. You see, I understand that not everybody is comfortable giving away a part of themselves to others that easily. Especially if it involves part of their family members. My mom was surprised but that's it. 

So please pledge your organs for donation in the name of saving mankind. You can pledge at any age, in fact the youngest person to pledge was 25 days old, however if you're still below 18, you would need your parents's consent. 

Do visit their website for more information (seriously a lot of details here) at http://www.dermaorgan.gov.my/ and follow them via Instagram/Twitter/G+/tumblr/Youtube/Facebook/pinterest/issuee 

under @dermaorgan 

They just launched their website and video last week and are having a walkathon on 5th October 2013 in view of Organ Donation Awareness Week, at Monumen Alaf Baru, Precint 2, Putrajaya. 

This is one cause I've been wanting to do since I was a teenager and I finally got that chance to pledge as a donor when I was working in my previous company. 

How does that feel? Pure contentment!

I couldn't agree more. 

Spread this, spread love. 

can i see your phone?

A few days ago, MixFM had this interesting topic open for discussion on their morning show. I loveee their morning show because honestly, I love to hear Sarimah in her Irish accent. Hehe.

Anyway, on the topic. 

Would you check your spouse's/bf-gf's handphone/Facebook account/email just to confirm that there's no hanky panky going on behind you?

Most of the callers who called in said that yes, they would. Simply because, they need to know and confirm. One caller even confessed that she had broken up with her boyfriend the day before because of what she found in his phone messages. 

At work, I asked my colleagues the same the question. Most of the guys don't mind their phones being checked, but not their wallet. Still that doesn't really answer the question, but I guess, that's just something guys don't want to share. On the other hand, my lady boss gave a simple but meaningful answer.

She said that, if there really is something going on with her husband and a third person, ultimately if Allah wills it, you will definitely get the answer, without having to invade their privacy. I have read/heard of this somewhere, and saya setuju!

Actually, this topic's close to my heart. Sure, I got what I wanted to know but did I benefit anything from it? No. In fact it made things worse. And I've learnt my lesson. One tough lesson it was.

Or perhaps, this is His way of showing? :)

Additionally, I'd like to share some words of wisdom from 2 sheikhs that I respect,  in view of the above situation.

#1 Sheikh Hamza Yusuf

Only thing that reduces anxiety is by certainty (Yaqeen), and knowing that everything that happens is only because of Allah, and you’re in good hands

#2 Sheikh Mirza Yawar Baig

Tawakkul is to know, not believe; know, that Allah hears, sees and answers and that we don't need to ask anyone else after asking Him

Makes perfect sense. 

feed your heart with good things

If only we are able to instantly differentiate decisions on whether they are for worldly pleasures or to seek for Paradise, wouldn't it be nice?

Nah, it would be too easy. Not challenging enough kan? The dunya itself is a test, and guess what, the hardest challenge that you have to face is to overcome the evil inside of you. Yes, it is part of us, unfortunately. 

Which is why we need to always feed our hearts with good things, be it doa (prayers), Qur'an recitation, zikir, knowledge, having good intention or even the basic of it all, having a good heart. Just recently I read an article by Imam Khalid Latif in Huffington Post, talking about the condition of our hearts. Personally I love the article. You can read it here.  Our faith tends to wear out just like our clothes do (okay, I got this from reading it somewhere), that is why we need to keep on increasing them by ways above. 

The things that has happened to me these few months, the bad and the good, have taught me immensely on the things that matters most on this planet. That is, everything that you do, is for the sake of Allah. Have it any other way, you are bound to lose them (as in the things you fought so hard for) and you are bound to lose yourself. That is pretty bad, if you ask me. 

I have sinned a lot, an awful lot. And I still have a lot to learn, to absorb, to discover, to do.

I parted with my ex-boyfriend on good terms, but I've decided that it wouldn't do me any good to still be in contact with him. I know that he still loves me when we took the decision to break up, but when a man starts to have doubts about your future when he is faced with choices that only benefits him in the dunya, that's when you know that you need to move on. Taking some wise words I've learnt along the way, keep close to you those who remind you of Allah. So the very spot on. 

Honestly, I'm not so sure if I have forgiven him. It takes time, really, I guess. But I know I am in a better place without him. I know he used to read my blog but I don't know if he still does (you know with the 'added value' in his life, and everything). 

Dear men (and women), never take on what you cannot defend. 

That line itself is for you to ponder upon and decide with if you think whatever you're going to do is worth it in the long run.

I'm writing this for a dear girlfriend of mine who is currently facing what I used to face. It's hard, I know. Just put your trust in Allah, everything will be fine. The moment we understand that Allah's decision is always in our best interest, everything will start to make sense.

Paolo Coelho said in his book 'The Alchemist' (which I have not completed yet), 

'The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.'

which to me basically translates as, you can search all the wonders of the world, marvel at them, be excited about them and such, but never forget your true intention in this dunya.

Girlfriend, I love you lots. I know I've said it a hundred times over :)

"Make yourself better and time will fix everything else" 

Patrick Harris Neil