jual tanah

Found this while scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook and this reminded me of my father.

A few months before my graduation day (years ago of course..hehe), I told my father about the convocation ceremony. To which he congratulated me and told me something I won't forget. 

"Papa is sorry because Papa can't afford the money to bring all of us there. Maybe Papa can jual the tanah here so we can all attend your convocation."

But Allah is Maha Kaya.

I was able to secure a job right after I finished studying and with that little money, they could all go to Penang to see their kakak graduate :')

Today, we still don't have much, but alhamdulillah, we still have each other ♥

the money that was not for me

Last month I was broke, with the house-moving and all. A week before payday, all I had left in my bank account was less than RM100, and you and I know very well, it won't last until the next week. At that time, I was really, really hoping for miracles to happen. 

I remembered listening to Ikim.FM one day, where one muallaf was talking about the days he first became Muslim. Because of his decision, his family, friends and fiancee left him, leaving him with no money at all. So he prayed to Allah for some amount of money. The next day, some guy honked his car infront of the muallaf's house, asking if he was Mr-So-and-So. So, he said yes. And then the guy said, "I don't know why but I had a feeling that I have to give this envelope to you." And he left.

So the muallaf opened up the envelope and guess what, inside it is a sum of money with the exact amount that he had asked from Allah. Subhanallah, how great is that! Kalau Allah nak bagi petunjuk kat orang tu, Dia akan bagi je, kan?

So, based on that incident, I, too, prayed to Allah that night, for some sum of money, at least to last me a week. The next day, I withdrew what I thought was the last RM100 I had. And I requested for the printed receipt. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the balance that I had in my account. It was exactly the amount that I prayed for, from Allah last night! I felt chills down my spine, and had goosebumps all over my arm. I went into my car and had quite a hard time understanding what my friend was talking about at that time. I was distracted.

I relayed the whole incident to my brothers in our Whatsapp group, including the story of the muallaf. 

And now, I have extra money to spend until my payday. 

But then, Allah has better plans for the rezeki that He has put down at the eleventh hour for me. A few days after that, I was told by my brother that my grandma had just passed away, as per my previous blog entries. You see, that money that I prayed for, He gave them to me so that I could buy a flight ticket back to my kampung. So that I could see nenek for the last time. Nothing is ever a coincidence.

That money, was actually for nenek :'(

Subhanallah 

nek ijah (part 2)

PART 2

Reached my grandparents's house at approximately 9++pm. I walked through the sea of unfamiliar faces, looking for a familiar face. The first that I recognized was Nek Wa, my mom's mother, sitting outside with the rest of the elderly. We hugged and cried, not exchanging any words. And then, I walked into the house and saw a partition. Curtains drawn to cover the area and instantly I knew nenek was in there. I still couldn't see any familiar faces. Then, someone sitting down tugged me from behind. 

"Na...". 

It was Mok Mie, my aunt. I hugged her and we broke into uncontrollable sobs. I feel her. I feel her sadness. I love my Nek Ijah so much. I miss her. I've been missing her since before puasa. I've been dreaming about her, missing to hug her because the last time I saw her during my brother's wedding in February, I didn't really spend time with her. I've prayed to Allah that He gives all of us enough time to see, hug and ask for forgiveness from each other during Raya this year. I cried in my prayers, probably because Allah has given me the sense that we are running out of time. Allah loves her more.

We recited Yassin the whole night. Some of my aunts and uncles didn't even sleep.

The next morning, after sahur and congregational Subuh prayer, we got ready for mandi jenazah. I joined in with my aunties. My first time doing mandi jenazah. I wanted to do this for nenek. Ironically, a few months ago, I attended a jenazah course with Nadi Anissa. You see, there is a reason for everything, there is never a coincidence, subhanallah. Tears kept streaming down our faces. Once finished, each of us, her children and her grandchildren, took turn to kiss her. The last to kiss her was her husband, my grandpa, Nek Yan. Before he kissed her, he was sobbing like a child. I had never seen Nek Yan break down and seeing him like that made all of us cry more. Nek Ijah and Nek Yan always do things together, breakfast, solat, morning talks, going to the market, everything. They are so close to each other. To lose part of your life is heart-breaking. No wonder, sabar is half of our iman. To attain sabar is definitely hard work.


Nenek's body is carried out to the living room for solat jenazah and then, to the cemetery ts to be buried. It was a scorching hot day, as usual as Ramadhan is always a hot month, but it was windy and breezy, which eased the burial process. Alhamdulillah, Nek Ijah went in peace, in a holy month.


It has been 2 weeks since her demise. My dad is still in the kampung to accompany my grandpa. InsyaAllah I will be back just before Raya. Hopefully I can stay there a bit longer this time around.

May Allah grant the best of heaven for Nek Ijah and may Allah ease her journey to the Hereafter, ameen.


Return to your Lord, pleased, and well-pleasing (surah al-Fajr)

nek ijah (part 1)

         Assalamualaikum everyone. Above anything else, I would like to wish you a blessed Ramadhan. This is going to be a lengthy post I thought at first but I figured, oh well, let's just do them in parts.

So this is part 1.

PART 1

       Last Monday approximately around Zohor (noon) time, my beloved grandmother has been called to return to our Creator. She was my father's mother and the closest grandmother that I have. I was about to have my lunch break when I received a text from my brother informing me that Nek Ijah had passed away. I teared up instantly and requested from my boss to take time (and days) off. I went straight to the airport feeling heavy.

     Bought my ticket at the airport as online booking was off limits to flights with less than 4 hours of departure time. Flight was at 4:20pm and I left the office around 2pm. Was numb the entire journey. Reached Sibu at approximately 6:30pm. My dad and my cousin were already waiting for me at Sibu Airport. Broke our fast at the airport and continued our 2-hour journey by land to my beloved kampung.

To be continued.

Meanwhile, please include her in your doa, thank you so much.

mis(ter) chief

I received this message this morning. One of my nephew has finally had his dream came true. He is now a police inspector!

It made me so proud because it is his dream since he was a little boy, since I babysat him, and he is ALWAYS talking about being a police inspector. Now he's all grown up, married and finally got his dream job, alhamdulillah. I teared a little when I came to know about this because I know how hard it was at first for him and for his family to settle everything that has been going on in their lives. 

With every hardship, there is ease. (94:5-6)

And Allah is the Most Generous and the Most Loving.

you ready?

Sometimes I wonder, when youngsters talk about marriage, or rather, about getting married, do they really know what they're in for? Weddings and marriage are two very separate entities.Yes, of course talking about weddings is exciting. Weddings are beautiful, yes they are, no doubt. And when one person does it, and then another, and then another, of course this will add on to the excitement of going through the same road. 

Starting on that journey is easy. But to sustain it? 

Can you handle it if he has to go off for work for months without seeing each other? How do you handle it if a co-worker of his flirts with him? Do you go berserk? How do you maintain your composure? How patient can you go? How do you love that worst part of him without trying to change him?  

What do you do if there is change of hearts? How do you sustain the same feeling you had when you first got married to him? What do you do to sustain it? How far can you sustain it? 

Are you strong enough?

Or do you resort to divorce?

My child, life is not a bed of roses. Some things are so easy to say out, because you are only projecting the good part of it. You are only picturing the beautiful part of marriage. There are 2 sides to everything; the lovely side and the not-so-lovely side. Are the both of you ready to go through both sides together? 

You need to know what are your responsibilities. What do you answer to God if those under your care goes astray? 

I'm not against youngsters getting married early. Of course the popular reason would be to keep away from inappropriate behaviors. But please, please, learn your responsibilities. Go to classes, seek advice from the elders. Learn from your parents. Can you be half as strong as they are? 

If you are still teaching others to hate, or still not treating your parents right,  I don't think you are quite ready to get married yet, let alone become a parent on your own. 

Just my 2 cents. 

By the way, I have been greatly inspired by a lady called Fynn Jamal, a poet/singer/song-writer. I have only started following her on Instagram since probably 2 months ago and I've fallen in love with what she's made of. I'll be talking more about her in my next posts and share some of her poetry or inspirational posts on her Instagram account, fynnjamal. 

let's date!

"Go out and date," said the aunty. 

"I've given your number to this teacher at my workplace. He will message you. Who knows he is your jodoh."

Erk. 

A few weeks after the incident.

"He is shy. That's why he hasn't messaged. Here, take his number and message him. Just do it. Who knows he is your jodoh."

Erkkk.

Me? Initiating a move? So not me. Not at all. 

This has happened quite a few times (initiated by relatives and friends every time) and most of the time, when the guy has gotten hold of my number, they are afraid to make the next move. Why oh why, dear men? The only time I made the first move was during the last relationship, which, by the way, turned disastrous. But that was so last season, so let's not talk about that now, shall we? :P

I think it is time to date (again), but there is no candidate, so how now, brown cow? 

Sometimes, yes, I do miss going on dates. Having someone special to share your day-to-day stories, to manja with, to go watch movies with, to pamper and be pampered, to flirt with, to try out new makan place with, to make fun of, to take care, to be sweet and nice to, just cause. Man, there are many things I miss doing, with a partner. 

My girlfriend and I were talking about this today. Pretty much pouring out our insecurities over the reasons (why we have not met The One, so to speak) and on what should we do about it etc (in which case, we don't really know what to do). It is hard to find a decent man. If he is good, he is already taken. That is always the case, sadly. 

I know that God is perfect in His timing. We probably have not done much effort on our parts, maybe. And after a series of disappointments, I'm probably still feeling a bit insecure. That, I need to let go. Let it goooo.. Yes, I need to let it go. And find that man. That kind-hearted, gentle and loving man, who will love me for who I was and who I am. Who will continue to seek God's love through the family he is responsible for. 

Okay, I'm ready to take the plunge. Again.

Pray for me? 

what i want #4

God knows how much just discussing about spiritual knowledge gets me all excited inside. It is amazing reflecting on His beauty, the beauty of His creations, how perfect He places everything, at the right time, the right place. It is amazing learning the seerah of the Prophets, the companions. How much love they have in their hearts for Allah, how much respect they have for Prophet Muhammad, their strength, their perseverance, their faith. Amazing learning the wisdom behind every ritual, obligatory and the non-obligatory. Amazing learning how much opportunity Allah is giving us to redeem just to book a spot, or better still, build a castle in Jannah. How beautiful Jannah is, how horrible Jahannam is, what happens when the Dajjal comes, how does Nabi Yusuf really look like (some say Prophet Muhammad is way better-looking than he is, but let's just do more sincere good deeds so that we can compare them in Jannah, okay?)

Masyaallah, so amazing. You know. 

My bestfriend and I, we love talking about these too, praises to Allah for sending beautiful people to be my own angels on earth. Sometimes we'd just say out loud, "How I wish we have husbands who love to go to ilm talks/lectures as much as we do, kan?" (Angels, I hope you jotted down the hints and pass the message on to you-know-who :] )

So yes, this is what I want, no 4 

(the last one was in October last year, just to keep track :P )

Let's start to imagine. 

Imagine having a husband who gives you a bedtime story of the seerah of the Prophet, just before you go to bed. Or listen to him recite the verses of the Quran, and reflecting on their meanings. Listening with your little ones, being amazed at the same time. Imagine having a mini halaqah in your home, discussing different topics which makes you think and ponder. Imagine, for every single act that you do in your home, for example, tending to your cats, folding your clothes, taking out the trash, your husband will be relating those acts in accordance to how Prophet Muhammad does them. My, my, just imagine. 

Now you know why we want husbands who goes to ilm talks or better still, those who goes to pray congregational prayers in the mosques to also listen to the khutbah, right?   

Personally, I think this is what that is lacking in our society nowadays. We just go on with our lives without reflecting on how exactly should we do it, the sunnah, following the footsteps of the Prophet. To have a leader in the household who incorporates these in the daily routine is a HUGE blessing. He will either get you to hellfire or to paradise.  

I can only pray and prepare myself to be the best wife for whoever he is that He has destined for me. Trying my best! He is, no doubt, the best of planners and He knows what is best for us. And He is just, al-Adl. At the end of the day, we only get what we are worthy of. 

“Verily, We (Allah) have created all things in due measures.” 

Al-Qamar 54:49

hello, baby girl!

Remember my niece born a new year baby this year? 

She's now a healthy bouncing baby of 4 months old, alhamdulillah.

These photos of her makes me sooooo geram. 

Eeeeeeee..! 

This is her at around 3+ month. Her first time using baby car seat. 

Muka clueless ni. Doesn't know what has she got herself into.

Hello, baby girl!

Baby girl screaming 'Nek Mokkkk!' to one of my aunts :) 

Yeah, her uncle is pretty creative, I must say.

Love you, baby girl <3 nbsp="">

Oh yeah, another cousin of mine has delivered a baby girl today (1st May), alhamdulillah!

So I've got 2 nieces born on the 1st, now. 

Having a baby girl as your firstborn is like getting a new bestfriend kan, ladies?

I hope my firstborn will be a baby girl also :P This special bond between mothers and daughters are masyallah, so beautiful. 

Having said that, of course, I'll accept whatever rezeki that He plans to bestow us upon :) 

InsyaAllah.

turning another number

I just cannot leave March without writing an entry, so here it is, a random one :)

March is a special month for me because ahem, it's the month that I was born in some decades ago, bahaha.

Spent a few days in Kuching with my loved ones.
My, my. I love them to bits.

Thank you for this, ya Allah :')

Here I quote an insight from a mother on motherhood during one of the ilm talks I attended last year. 

"In that huge heartache, there are still the joys in life, and they are the little things. And this made motherhood so much worth it."

The little joys in my life are made out of special people who are always watching over me, whether I realize it or not, and knowing that regardless whether I am wrong or right, they will be right there saying "It's okay."

Oh, Papa wasn't having a bad day. It's his signature photo pose :P

walk a mile.... in my shoes

You know, throughout this trying time of ours, one of the good thing that came out of it of which I am so proud of is how hard my brothers work and how unselfish they are in sharing and giving up their income to help the family. 

From young, we were blessed with abundance of rezeki that most of the time, we don't have to share anything because we could afford to have one each etc. Now that the tables have turned, I could see that at first it was very hard for us to get adjusted to this new 'lifestyle'. We had to ration our food, like, everyone can only get 1 piece of whatever food was on the table, eat canned sardines, KFC is considered a luxury etc. 

Now, my brothers are the biggest contributors to the family. The first one is always willing to help with the finance whenever the family needs it, the second one working full-time and sometimes part time too (he does banci at times. What is banci in English again? Big bucks too, ok) and is always trying to find out ways to generate income. This brother who used to be that one selfish sibling who wouldn't share anything with anyone. I'm so proud of you :') And the last brother, the youngest one, is still studying. When he gets his PTPTN loan, he gave most of it to my father to help finance the household. I'm so, so proud of you guys. 

So when someone, especially family members from the extended side, come to my mother asking why are we insufficient on cash when each of us are working, it breaks me. Because they don't and will never understand the plight that we are in, that each of us are in. I'm no fan of Rita Rudaini, the Malaysian actress who is fighting for nafkah for her kids since her divorce with the nation's footballer, but I agree completely when she said that "Hanya orang yang mempunyai anak saja yang tahu dan faham tentang perbelanjaan anak-anak." Or in other words, you gotta step into one's shoe to fully understand what they're going through and why they're doing what they do. 

I'm so proud of you, my brothers. We've gone a long, longgg way. I believe this is a test to prepare us for something bigger :) Nothing is ever a concidence, kan? 

I love you guys a whole lot. 

3 guys and 1 hot lady

Good-looking fellas at the recent maulid in DBP, Kuching

Lastly, 

kain putih

Assalamualaikum abang2 and kakak2, aunties and uncles. 

I'm the latest addition to the Adeni family and I shall still remain nameless ;)

My niece, born on New Year, alhamdulillah. She looks exactly her mummy. Hehehe. I cannot wait to go back to Kuching to meet this munchkin. 

I'm sure you'll grow up gorgeous, baby girl. Yes! Another reason for me to buy more tutus!

On another note, last December while attending Twins of Faith 2013 Family Festival, there was this session for kids aged 5 and above called 'Play and Pray'. This session is particularly working as a nursery for kids as a means to facilitate and ease their parents who wish to go for talks and workshops throughout the day. But this ain't an ordinary cookies and milk nursery I tell ya. They actually teach kids the practices of Islam as a way of living. So on the way to one of the talks that day, I passed by that particular 'Play and Pray' hall and took a peek inside. Children were having a great time with their activities and one of the facilitator was asking them, "So who wants to be the imam for today's Zuhur prayer?" And almost all the kids were raising their hands. Mashaallah, if you can listen to what my heart was saying, it was actually shouting, "Wait? What? You guys are just tiny minions of 5 and you guys can confidently raise up your hands to lead a hall (of say about 100 kids) to pray?" Like, seriously? That alone, was like a slap in my face. Ko ado?

By the way, the Twins of Faith Family Festival is THE event of 2013 that I was soooo excited about. Was counting days for it. Organised by Mercy Mission Malaysia, its main objective is to bring in Muslim scholars from different parts of the world to give talks and to conduct workshops on different topics for the benefits of Muslims and non-Muslims who are interested to learn more about Islam. Besides talks and workshops, there were bazaars going on, a sisters corner for ehem, girly stuff (like pedicure manicure, spa treatment, sale of cosmetics), nursing rooms for mothers, a marriage corner (I heard this was such a hit), charity booths and charity drives and as mentioned earlier, a play and pray zone for kids. Everything about the event is beneficial for all ages so I do encourage you to come for this year's. It usually happens end of December :) Do come, I assure you a 2-day of knowledge you won't find anywhere else.

 The wonderful line-up of speakers for 2013

The treasure seekers :P

+1

Kamal Saleh, the recent Youtube sensation for his rap on Islam

The best view 

eid al-fitr

This entry has been in my draft folder for quite a while now. Since August! Hahaa. So I shall complete it today.

An uncle once said, "Setiap hati yang tenang melalui dugaan di bulan Ramadhan sememangnya menyambut Aidilfitri dengan kegembiraan."

This year, our Eid is evidently different from the previous years. For one, we are ALL together. Yeah, my nucleus family, all the 6 of us are all together.  Alhamdulillah. Secondly, we spend less this time around because of the financial state my family is in, but that's okay. Weird thing is, despite the lack in that department, we've been blessed with abundance of rizq, from relatives, friends and strangers. Jars of biscuits, homemade cakes, seats at our favourite (albeit always full) Laksa Sarawak place (one of the diners asked my mum to sit with them first to secure the seat. other people were still standing around waiting for vacant seats. rezeki hoi), crates of fizzy drinks, sofa. Yes, sofa even. Heh. Come to think of it, I just had to buy kek lapis (for home comsumption and as gifts for colleagues and friends) for Raya, and just made one  pandan cake. Our signature cake. That's it.

During Ramadhan this year before I head back to Kuching, I made a mental checklist for celebrating Raya. One of them is to have all my brothers help out with the house-cleaning and house-decorating. Surprisingly they were all in agreement! Good job! Well, considering everyone has their own agendas pre-Raya for the last few years, this is considered a huge improvement :)) And I was so pleased for that, alhamdulillah.

Next on my list was performing the Aidiladha prayers together, which we did, and for that I felt so, so blessed. My dad even took a video of us walking back from the mosque together :')

Our signature pandan cake in the making

Mummy!

 I love them so very much.
I pray for us to have a life of His blessings and that with His will, to be able to enter Jannah together, Ameen.

And for that, there is still a LOT to be done.

May Allah ease it for us ♥

The pious offspring who casts a single look of affection at this parents receives a reward equal to an accepted Hajj - Prophet Muhammad

what i want #3 - take time off for each other

Hellooo. How are you today? I hope you are in the pink of health!

Oh yeah, I've been meaning to say. It's October, and if you have not heard, October is also associated with the colour pink, hence, Pink October, a month of breast cancer awareness. Of course, we shouldn't limit this awareness to only this month :) Yesterday, my department has some sort of a KFC makan-makan session at the office and alhamdulillah, most of us (even the guys) came in pink as requested by yours truly *peace sign*

But that's not really the point of this entry (selalu tauu, iklan-iklan gitu)

This is entry #3 for what I want for my future :)

I went to Sy Yahya Ibrahim's talk on what does it take to be the happiest women recently, and he gave 20 points on how to. One of the points is to learn from your parents's life, the good and also the not so good.

One of the best things I learn from them is to take some time off for each other. Nearly every morning, my dad and my mum would go out to have breakfast together, just the two of them. They know each other's favourites or second favourite (in case the shop doesn't have the first one). I remember my aunt asking me one morning, " Mana mak? Dating la tu."  Ahaa.

So it's either eating out, having some date night (i.e movies etc) or just having home-made breakfast or dinner at home, just the two of us. I secretly love cooking breakfast. I think I would love it even more to be cooking breakfast for him >.<  Pandai-pandai je kan, cuba nanti dah kawin. Ada lagi kerr? Insha allah. Hohohooo..

I love mornings. I guess it's the breath of fresh air, the new hope.

Today's breakfast - scrambled eggs, diced tomatoes and frankfurters in mixed herbs. Love English breakfast as my stomach can't take heavy meals in the morning

I think having a time-off from the household every once in a while is good for you and your spouse, away from other things that can hinder you from getting to know each other, even after some 30 years of marriage. We never stop learning, betul tak? There is bound to be something new that you learn about your spouse, every single day.

These days, divorce is so common in the society that it's starting to be the trend already. I do not want that in my future. I admit that that is one of the reasons I'm scared to be committed to a marriage. Thing is, I can't shake this perception in my head that no matter how good a man is, somehow or rather, they are bound to have a change of heart, somewhere along the lifeline of a marriage. I don't want to go through the trauma of having to think that I'm second best. I mean, isn't that what your spouse is for? To protect and make you feel like you're the best thing that has ever happened to him/her? Otherwise, imagine the insecurity and the inferiority the spouse has to go through. Imagine feeling like that everyday, it's like a child who gets deprived of affection from his parents, so he resorts to rebelling. 

Oh, the horror. 

I hope what I want will be materialized in the future. I know it's not enough just hoping and praying, both of us need to make it work and of course, tawakkal. 

Taking the words of a fellow Muslim brother, Mazhir Jamil Ya-Si : 

'Change of heart often occurs when one goes through hardship. A person may want to change their ways for their own betterment. After all they feel that life has treated them bad whenever they found happiness. They feel that whenever they found happiness it gets taken away from them. But not everything you believe is happiness. A Haram relationship - by no means is this acceptable as a muslim? You haven't found happiness, you have just fallen into the trap and following the evil whispers occupying your mind. So whenever this relationship breaks, know that it was for the best and happiness lies outside of haram. Reflect the past. Mistakes will be always made but remember, the experience that you gain from them should enable you to stop. Unless you have a weak heart.'

....."Therefore, when I am your other half, I only want to be completed, not to be compared. I am indeed a woman by nature, and as your wife, all I need is just my husband.

The goal is Jannah, hence please be with me in anything that is pleasure to Allah. May Allah bless us forever, ameen."

Someday you'll find the right person, and you'll learn to have a lot more confidence in yourself. That's what I think - Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

nephews's engagement

Almost half my life, I have been away from my family due to studies and work. The downfall of that is I didn't get to watch my siblings grow up and my parents grow older. And it doesn't really help that I only go back to see them twice a year. So when I do go back, I make sure I spend time with them, although sometimes they don't really see it from that point of view. Sobs (blame the drama on the hormones, yes). So it's a little sad to see that when I go back, my parents have shrunk in sizes (do old people shrink that fast?) and my siblings getting way taller than me. Pfftt.

Anyway, who I got to see grew up were my nephews and nieces who are staying here in KL. I baby-sitted them since they were little, see them go through primary and secondary schools, college, work and now this.

Their engagement.

2 of my nephews have just gotten engaged last month. When I got to know the news, I was like 'What?? But they just grew up!' Hehe. Obviously they grew up well. Seriously, man. Their mom taught them well.  Not being biased, I swear. 

My aunts and niece

Eldest nephew's fiance, Lyana.

Engagement was held in Bangi. 

Nieces and nieces-in-laws

My niece at an open house after the engagement. The food there was superb (of course I'd remember such important detail!)

Third nephew's fiance, Qa Tyq.

Engagement held in Mersing, Johor

Qa Tyq surrounded by the closest girls in her life - sister, future sis-in-law and her bestfriend

My aunt made up the decoration for both my nephews's hantaran

                           

 

                                                 

We stopped by the beach in Mersing for some fresh air after the engagement. This is the stop people use to get to Tioman Island. Oh well, next time jer la pergi Tioman. Was rushing to get back to KL that same day.  

Alhamdulillah everything went well. Their weddings will be held next year, insha allah. Not sure how the mom was feeling because she was super busy, but I know she was super proud :')