Friday, October 18, 2013

what i want #3 - take time off for each other

Hellooo. How are you today? I hope you are in the pink of health!

Oh yeah, I've been meaning to say. It's October, and if you have not heard, October is also associated with the colour pink, hence, Pink October, a month of breast cancer awareness. Of course, we shouldn't limit this awareness to only this month :) Yesterday, my department has some sort of a KFC makan-makan session at the office and alhamdulillah, most of us (even the guys) came in pink as requested by yours truly *peace sign*

But that's not really the point of this entry (selalu tauu, iklan-iklan gitu)

This is entry #3 for what I want for my future :)

I went to Sy Yahya Ibrahim's talk on what does it take to be the happiest women recently, and he gave 20 points on how to. One of the points is to learn from your parents's life, the good and also the not so good.

One of the best things I learn from them is to take some time off for each other. Nearly every morning, my dad and my mum would go out to have breakfast together, just the two of them. They know each other's favourites or second favourite (in case the shop doesn't have the first one). I remember my aunt asking me one morning, " Mana mak? Dating la tu."  Ahaa.

So it's either eating out, having some date night (i.e movies etc) or just having home-made breakfast or dinner at home, just the two of us. I secretly love cooking breakfast. I think I would love it even more to be cooking breakfast for him >.<  Pandai-pandai je kan, cuba nanti dah kawin. Ada lagi kerr? Insha allah. Hohohooo..

I love mornings. I guess it's the breath of fresh air, the new hope.

Today's breakfast - scrambled eggs, diced tomatoes and frankfurters in mixed herbs. Love English breakfast as my stomach can't take heavy meals in the morning

I think having a time-off from the household every once in a while is good for you and your spouse, away from other things that can hinder you from getting to know each other, even after some 30 years of marriage. We never stop learning, betul tak? There is bound to be something new that you learn about your spouse, every single day.

These days, divorce is so common in the society that it's starting to be the trend already. I do not want that in my future. I admit that that is one of the reasons I'm scared to be committed to a marriage. Thing is, I can't shake this perception in my head that no matter how good a man is, somehow or rather, they are bound to have a change of heart, somewhere along the lifeline of a marriage. I don't want to go through the trauma of having to think that I'm second best. I mean, isn't that what your spouse is for? To protect and make you feel like you're the best thing that has ever happened to him/her? Otherwise, imagine the insecurity and the inferiority the spouse has to go through. Imagine feeling like that everyday, it's like a child who gets deprived of affection from his parents, so he resorts to rebelling. 

Oh, the horror. 

I hope what I want will be materialized in the future. I know it's not enough just hoping and praying, both of us need to make it work and of course, tawakkal. 

Taking the words of a fellow Muslim brother, Mazhir Jamil Ya-Si : 

'Change of heart often occurs when one goes through hardship. A person may want to change their ways for their own betterment. After all they feel that life has treated them bad whenever they found happiness. They feel that whenever they found happiness it gets taken away from them. But not everything you believe is happiness. A Haram relationship - by no means is this acceptable as a muslim? You haven't found happiness, you have just fallen into the trap and following the evil whispers occupying your mind. So whenever this relationship breaks, know that it was for the best and happiness lies outside of haram. Reflect the past. Mistakes will be always made but remember, the experience that you gain from them should enable you to stop. Unless you have a weak heart.'

....."Therefore, when I am your other half, I only want to be completed, not to be compared. I am indeed a woman by nature, and as your wife, all I need is just my husband.

The goal is Jannah, hence please be with me in anything that is pleasure to Allah. May Allah bless us forever, ameen."

Someday you'll find the right person, and you'll learn to have a lot more confidence in yourself. That's what I think - Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

No comments:

Post a Comment