Sunday, July 5, 2015

the money that was not for me

Last month I was broke, with the house-moving and all. A week before payday, all I had left in my bank account was less than RM100, and you and I know very well, it won't last until the next week. At that time, I was really, really hoping for miracles to happen. 

I remembered listening to Ikim.FM one day, where one muallaf was talking about the days he first became Muslim. Because of his decision, his family, friends and fiancee left him, leaving him with no money at all. So he prayed to Allah for some amount of money. The next day, some guy honked his car infront of the muallaf's house, asking if he was Mr-So-and-So. So, he said yes. And then the guy said, "I don't know why but I had a feeling that I have to give this envelope to you." And he left.

So the muallaf opened up the envelope and guess what, inside it is a sum of money with the exact amount that he had asked from Allah. Subhanallah, how great is that! Kalau Allah nak bagi petunjuk kat orang tu, Dia akan bagi je, kan?

So, based on that incident, I, too, prayed to Allah that night, for some sum of money, at least to last me a week. The next day, I withdrew what I thought was the last RM100 I had. And I requested for the printed receipt. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the balance that I had in my account. It was exactly the amount that I prayed for, from Allah last night! I felt chills down my spine, and had goosebumps all over my arm. I went into my car and had quite a hard time understanding what my friend was talking about at that time. I was distracted.

I relayed the whole incident to my brothers in our Whatsapp group, including the story of the muallaf. 

And now, I have extra money to spend until my payday. 

But then, Allah has better plans for the rezeki that He has put down at the eleventh hour for me. A few days after that, I was told by my brother that my grandma had just passed away, as per my previous blog entries. You see, that money that I prayed for, He gave them to me so that I could buy a flight ticket back to my kampung. So that I could see nenek for the last time. Nothing is ever a coincidence.

That money, was actually for nenek :'(


nek ijah (part 2)


Reached my grandparents's house at approximately 9++pm. I walked through the sea of unfamiliar faces, looking for a familiar face. The first that I recognized was Nek Wa, my mom's mother, sitting outside with the rest of the elderly. We hugged and cried, not exchanging any words. And then, I walked into the house and saw a partition. Curtains drawn to cover the area and instantly I knew nenek was in there. I still couldn't see any familiar faces. Then, someone sitting down tugged me from behind. 


It was Mok Mie, my aunt. I hugged her and we broke into uncontrollable sobs. I feel her. I feel her sadness. I love my Nek Ijah so much. I miss her. I've been missing her since before puasa. I've been dreaming about her, missing to hug her because the last time I saw her during my brother's wedding in February, I didn't really spend time with her. I've prayed to Allah that He gives all of us enough time to see, hug and ask for forgiveness from each other during Raya this year. I cried in my prayers, probably because Allah has given me the sense that we are running out of time. Allah loves her more.

We recited Yassin the whole night. Some of my aunts and uncles didn't even sleep.

The next morning, after sahur and congregational Subuh prayer, we got ready for mandi jenazah. I joined in with my aunties. My first time doing mandi jenazah. I wanted to do this for nenek. Ironically, a few months ago, I attended a jenazah course with Nadi Anissa. You see, there is a reason for everything, there is never a coincidence, subhanallah. Tears kept streaming down our faces. Once finished, each of us, her children and her grandchildren, took turn to kiss her. The last to kiss her was her husband, my grandpa, Nek Yan. Before he kissed her, he was sobbing like a child. I had never seen Nek Yan break down and seeing him like that made all of us cry more. Nek Ijah and Nek Yan always do things together, breakfast, solat, morning talks, going to the market, everything. They are so close to each other. To lose part of your life is heart-breaking. No wonder, sabar is half of our iman. To attain sabar is definitely hard work.

Nenek's body is carried out to the living room for solat jenazah and then, to the cemetery ts to be buried. It was a scorching hot day, as usual as Ramadhan is always a hot month, but it was windy and breezy, which eased the burial process. Alhamdulillah, Nek Ijah went in peace, in a holy month.

It has been 2 weeks since her demise. My dad is still in the kampung to accompany my grandpa. InsyaAllah I will be back just before Raya. Hopefully I can stay there a bit longer this time around.

May Allah grant the best of heaven for Nek Ijah and may Allah ease her journey to the Hereafter, ameen.

Return to your Lord, pleased, and well-pleasing (surah al-Fajr)