Sunday, March 20, 2011

Counting my blessings

There's a Malay proverb which sounds something like this, 'Penantian satu penyiksaan', which means to wait is a torturous process. It is, isn't it? 

Especially when you're not even sure how the ending will be like. Or if there is any ending at all. And, like I've mentioned in one of my previous post, I don't really like waiting. 

The other day I was thinking of how most of my life is pretty much determined by what others expect me to do. Get good grades, take piano/English/etc lessons, get bombastic degree results (although it didn't happen),  get a good job (ya rite), molded to be the cream of the crop yada yada.. only to get nothing in the end. 

And I think now I've had enough of living up to other's expectations because I just want to be happy. I don't want to be instructed, I want freedom and I want what I really want. I guess now I'm just sick of everything.

You need to count your blessings, girl. 

When I count my blessings, I count you twice.

Ya, I guess I've got to. It's just that sometimes it's a bit unfair. Work is one thing, relationship is another. I've got a friend who met her first love while studying in Uni, got herself a decent job, got married to the same love (who by the way is now an engineer), and is now happily married. I'm happy to hear her talk about her daily life with her partner, how they interact openly, how they tease each other just because their hearts alone is full with love.

I love to see their happiness and they deserve each other :))

I'm still carving my path and I hope I'll find happiness in everything, insyallah. 

اَلْخـَبِيـْثــاَتُ لِلْخَبِيْثـِيْنَ وَ اْلخَبِيْثُــوْنَ لِلْخَبِيْثاَتِ وَ الطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِيْنَ وَ الطَّيِّبُوْنَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ.
“ Wanita-wanita yang tidak baik untuk laki-laki yang tidak baik, dan laki-laki yang tidak baik adalah untuk wanita yang tidak baik pula. Wanita yang .baik untuk lelaki yang baik dan lelaki yang baik untuk wanita yang baik. (Qs. An Nur:26)

It's torturous but this is what I wanted and it's worth all the pain ;)

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