Tuesday, July 23, 2013

what I want #2 - he who practices Islam

The second 'What I want' entry after 2 months. Click here for the first. 

I have been in and out of quite a few relationships and I still don't know what love is. I used to think that all that matters in a relationship is the chemistry that you have with each other. Like how you can talk to each other until the wee hours of the morning, even if you had to go to work early the next day (and still have something to talk about the next day), like how you were thinking about something and your other half suddenly talks to you about it, or how comfortable you feel just sitting beside them doing absolutely nothing, and still enjoy their company. You know that kinda thing. 

  That's probably based on the assumption or sort of a quote I read somewhere that when you choose a life partner, choose someone that you can never ran out of things to talk about, because in the end, you're gonna have to live in the same house, share the same bed, eat the same food, experience the growing old together. So, I must have been heading in the right direction, kan? 

I found that person. I was happy, and contented. 

But what if, he found the same chemistry, with another person? What is left of the relationship?
Nothing. Kaput.

Let me tell you about one of my role models since I was younger. 

You see, for years, I've observed how my uncle (in-law), Mok Y, took care of my aunt, Mok M. My aunt got married quite late, in her early thirties and they were actually match-made by their families. Probably because of age, my aunt had a hard time conceiving, so they adopted 2 girls to complete the family. It was evident that my uncle was earning way lesser than my aunt, but that was never a problem. I think what makes up for that is his character as a husband and a father. My uncle is quite a joker (and quite a charmer too, I might add), so I guess that balances the intensity between them. My aunt is loving but can be strict at times due to her nature of work as a school principal. They tease each other a lot (I think I'm beginning to have this register in my head. Future husband : must tease me a lot :P ).

So far so good, right? But the one thing that I respect this man a lot for is how he treats our family, exactly like his own. They live quite near to my grandparents, so everyday, he would drop by my grandparents's to check out on them. Every single day. During Raya, he is one of the busiest man in our household, from fixing the lampu liplap outside to helping us ladies with the cooking in the kitchen. My own uncles are not even that 'busy'. 

Now, where can I find one of those? They are of rare species nowadays. Hehe. 

I have a confession. I used to have this mindset to not get married (ever) and I have my personal reasons for that. The last few months has taught me on the beauty of having a family. Having a good Muslim husband, beautiful children and a loving family. Have always wondered how it would be like to be a wife and a mother (and all those maternal instinct you never knew you had). 

Sometimes I wonder what changed, or rather, how it all changed. I mean, the perception. Maybe the more I read, the more it makes sense. Heh, obviously I don't read much. I was out having iftar with some of my close friends the other day. They were the 'happening' bunch, always up-to-date with the latest designer brands, gadgets and such. Usually I would join the hype but I notice that I wasn't really interested this time around. Maybe I was just tired. Or broke. Hahaha. 

 So, back to my post title, what I want for my future, is a life striving for His pleasure, which I can find through a good husband who practices Islam . Funny how this never crossed my mind before. 

"If you love someone, you should protect what he/she loves (dreams, passion, family, faith and the list goes on)" - Hanis Zalikha

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