Thursday, July 18, 2013

2 months.. and counting

By right, I shouldn't be counting the days and all. It has slipped my mind for weeks now and honestly I can't remember what triggered it. So yeah, 2 months now. 2 months of being in a new phase. I ranted (and blogged) about it a few days ago, but then deleted the entry because it was displeasing, even to myself, and I'm trying my best to ward myself off any kind of emotional negativity especially of late. 

Of course I was angry. I was angry to the point of being bitter and my tweets were depressing. Ah, those were the days. 

And now they are slowly fading away, alhamdulillah.

I owe my sanity to my family and friends, really. The late night calls (and on some days, the  really early morning calls too), the constant WhatsApping, checking up on me, the shelter and companionship (there was a period where I couldn't be alone at home), the endless words of encouragement, their constant cheering up and most importantly, for just being there to listen, even until today.

I appreciate those a lot. I really do. 

Earlier today I  read a blog of a single mum who has separated from her husband due to his infidelity (seriously, what is wrong with you men? oops, shush amy). I understand how she feels with the broken promises, the blaming and the excuses, but to raise 3 young children on her own after more than 10 years of marriage? That has got to take more than just self-motivation for it to work out. I respect you, single mums. 

They say the best thing unfolds when calamity strikes and true enough, I learnt so much more about my Creator since then, particularly on the whys. The things we take for granted, in this case, the religion I'm born in. There's so much to learn and every time I discover something new to me, it really does makes sense from the very beginning. Sometimes we can't accept the truth until it hits us in the face.

Still so much to explore for me to keep stepping forward and reach that ideal life. What is an ideal life? I'll probably interpret that as being in the state of peace with your Creator and everything around you where nothing in this dunya should ever matter to you anymore. 

Next step, to practise.

2 months of being stronger.
And counting.

Soulmates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. 
Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

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