Saturday, December 4, 2010

I'll be okay

In the midst of getting lucky, yeah, what with having the chance to go Disney (my dream since I was a child!), having to experience the winter season (albeit no snow), having to be in the place where sale is everywhere, cosmetics/perfumes are damn cheap(!), it all had a downside.

That I have no one to share it with.

So yeah. Sad (damn the tears are trickling). I mean I really felt alone.

I was out with my colleagues a while ago checking out some perfumes and I came accross Arden's Green Tea which my bestfriend, Azida loves, and I was telling them that I plan to give it to her. So Colleague A said, "Ko ade bestfriend ke?" Like, what did that mean?

And then, while walking home (or hotel, rather), I told them that I wanted to get the IDD card for me to call home. So the same colleague enquired, "Ko nak call sape??" Again, what did that mean?

Like, don't I look like I have friends/family/loved ones? Just because I rarely speak of my family or feelings doesn't mean I don't have any.  

The other day in the office, the rest of my 4-member projects team were talking about their family members who came/are coming to visit them in HK. Being the usual quiet (hiks..) one in the office, I wasn't involved in the conversation but I was listening in :P

So the question was raised to me, "Who's visiting you in HK?" I was a bit taken aback but answered anyway. But at the same time, I was thinking, "Like come on, you don't have to ask me that knowing very well there isn't anyone coming here. Like WTH."

It's not like I want or don't want anyone to come. Probably I've been afar from my family for so long that it felt like just another normal trip, and my family were literally just accross the sea. I call it independent :P

I don't mind much, really, but I hate it when people make it a big deal.

And yes, I keep most of my feelings to myself because I have problems with trust issues.

Alrite, that's about it. Still have some other things to jot down but saving them for my next posts.


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