mis(ter) chief

I received this message this morning. One of my nephew has finally had his dream came true. He is now a police inspector!

It made me so proud because it is his dream since he was a little boy, since I babysat him, and he is ALWAYS talking about being a police inspector. Now he's all grown up, married and finally got his dream job, alhamdulillah. I teared a little when I came to know about this because I know how hard it was at first for him and for his family to settle everything that has been going on in their lives. 

With every hardship, there is ease. (94:5-6)

And Allah is the Most Generous and the Most Loving.

you ready?

Sometimes I wonder, when youngsters talk about marriage, or rather, about getting married, do they really know what they're in for? Weddings and marriage are two very separate entities.Yes, of course talking about weddings is exciting. Weddings are beautiful, yes they are, no doubt. And when one person does it, and then another, and then another, of course this will add on to the excitement of going through the same road. 

Starting on that journey is easy. But to sustain it? 

Can you handle it if he has to go off for work for months without seeing each other? How do you handle it if a co-worker of his flirts with him? Do you go berserk? How do you maintain your composure? How patient can you go? How do you love that worst part of him without trying to change him?  

What do you do if there is change of hearts? How do you sustain the same feeling you had when you first got married to him? What do you do to sustain it? How far can you sustain it? 

Are you strong enough?

Or do you resort to divorce?

My child, life is not a bed of roses. Some things are so easy to say out, because you are only projecting the good part of it. You are only picturing the beautiful part of marriage. There are 2 sides to everything; the lovely side and the not-so-lovely side. Are the both of you ready to go through both sides together? 

You need to know what are your responsibilities. What do you answer to God if those under your care goes astray? 

I'm not against youngsters getting married early. Of course the popular reason would be to keep away from inappropriate behaviors. But please, please, learn your responsibilities. Go to classes, seek advice from the elders. Learn from your parents. Can you be half as strong as they are? 

If you are still teaching others to hate, or still not treating your parents right,  I don't think you are quite ready to get married yet, let alone become a parent on your own. 

Just my 2 cents. 

By the way, I have been greatly inspired by a lady called Fynn Jamal, a poet/singer/song-writer. I have only started following her on Instagram since probably 2 months ago and I've fallen in love with what she's made of. I'll be talking more about her in my next posts and share some of her poetry or inspirational posts on her Instagram account, fynnjamal. 

how i got my phone back

Sometimes I amuse myself (in a bengong kind of way of course, hoho). 

I've not been on smartphone for a whole month, you see, due to some OS/system issue thingamajig. And my fault la because instead of sending it straight to the service centre, I sent it for repair at one of the shops instead (my phone is still under warranty). The guys in the shop pulak, the type who suka main2. I get it, they're just guys but well :(

Everytime I call or go to the shop to ask about my phone update, they will say next week, next Friday, next Wednesday. So with each visit, I will become frustrated, in addition to their lots of talk and lame excuses. And I'm not the kind who layan excuses and I'm not exactly patient myself (sabar is so hard did I tell you?) After a month, last Wednesday I called them up for the umpteenth time and they asked me to call back on Friday to check if the 'office boy' from the service centre has delivered the phone back to them that day. On Friday morning, I called them up and they confirmed that my phone is ready for pick-up. My Friday was a bliss, work was good, people were joyful, weather was superb, the drive back from work was amazing, and even the car infront of me paid for my toll alhamdulillah, may Allah bless him/her.

When I reached the store and they asked for receipt, I panicked. I didn't bring it. Actually I lost it. So they said, "takde resit, tak boleh amik." I searched high and low in my bag and purse, confirmed, I lost it. So they said, there's another procedure to go through if I didn't have my receipt with me, because according to them, there have been many cases where other people has been taking phones on behalf of the owner, but turned out that they were cheating. The other procedure will be to come back to the store the next day yada-yada. By that time, I was already feeling angry and some more frustrated inside.  I raised my voice, "But the phone memang I punya. I waited a month for this."

I know it is my fault for losing the receipt but I was hoping for them to just release the phone already since I've been going to their store every week just to get updates. They kept on saying no, and I turned my back, looking at the phone cover display on the wall. I was actually restraining my anger. Next thing I knew, tears were already streaming down my face, and I was wiping them off. In the background, one of the salesman talked to the Supervisor in Chinese, "What was the matter? Just give her the phone la." Probably seeing that I was already crying. 

"So macamana? U datang esok ok." the Supervisor said. I turned to him, tears still streaming down my face. "Alamak, you tak payah nangis la. Macam ni pun mau nangis ka," he asked. I wanted to scream, I WAITED A WHOLE MONTH AND CHECKING UP EVERY WEEK FOR UPDATES ENDING UP IN FRUSTRATION EVERY TIME, NOW YOU'RE ASKING ME TO GO THERE AGAIN THE NEXT DAY? 

Drama kan?

But I didn't say that la. I kept quiet. He took the phone from their cabinet and flipped through their invoice, looking for my name. "You sign sini and letak no IC" Still keeping quiet, I signed. "Kalau ada apa-apa nanti still rosak, you datang balik sini tau." In my heart, I was saying 'No Way!'. I think I smiled a little, that 'Yeah right." kinda smile, you know. Lol. 

I must have make it to their rare (read : emo) customer list. Well, at least now I have my smartphone, yay! (nampak tak how important it is to my daily activities.. hoho) It is a need, not a luxury!

Life is now back to normal. 

Have a good weekend!

mirror, mirror

"Ko tau kan beb, aku rasa kan, memang Allah memang nak bagi the best person untuk kita," she started the conversation.

. 

I raised my eyebrows, encouraging her to elaborate.

"Aku tengok aku yang dulu, and the person I'm with dulu, sebenarnya we mirror each other." 

Interesting point, I thought. 

She continued, "And lepas berhijrah, relationship first aku lepas tu, is dengan 'A', which is I think the best person.. sebab dia semuanya baik for me. Agama pun ok. First time dating kat masjid."

I asked her, "Sape yang ajak dating kat masjid?"

"Dia yang ajak." She answered smiling, and continued, "Tu lah kan, dia sebenarnya baik. Perfect. Cuma, dia MIA je lepas tu."

I've never met 'A' but I've seen his photo and heard about their story. They were match-made by mutual friends. Nice-looking decent guy, perfect for this friend of mine. Kalau dah jodoh, ada lah tu nanti, I consoled her. 

But really, interesting point kan. The better we become, the better person (spouse) Allah gives us, masyaAllah. He is Maha Penyayang indeed. So, what we thought was the best for us, actually Allah takes them away because He wants to give someone better because who knows us better than the One who created us :') We shall be blessed with a spouse mirroring ourselves, insyaAllah. This reminded me of the infamous Justin Timberlake song, Mirror, which actually was one of my 'consoling' song when I was going through my break-up. I used it to console myself, telling myself that I'm better than this and that my other half should also reflect the best part of me. 

Your other half shouldn't complete you, because essentially you are a whole by yourself. Your other half should complement you. Yes, like a mirror, you reflect upon each other, and that is where you see each other's strengths and weaknesses. You see them in your spouse. That is where you kind of do your own tweaking, adapting, accepting and you know, just loving everything about each other, even the not-so-nice stuffs. 

Have you found your mirror?

kerana yang indah itu ada pada hati yang bersyukur

A quick one before I start the weekend chores and all. 

Last Saturday I gave a surprise small birthday celebration to one of my bestfriend. Her birthday is not due til a few days later but what more surprising than to have it in advance kan?

Normally on Saturdays, we will have our lunch and Zuhur together at the masjid before starting our classes. So this time around, I specifically suggested 'nak makan kat tempat yang ada kek'. Lol. She had no idea. 

Since time was a bit limited for a special lunch, so we had early dinner instead and settled with Plan B at Publika. After ordering and choosing the kinda over-rated 'Red Velvet' as our dessert (lo and behold, I have  finally found the BEST Red Velvet cake EVER), I presented her with a card with just her name on it. She was surprised and kept on asking, "Eh Amy, wedding invitation ke ape ni? Tak bagitau punnnn." 

There I was already all smiling and goofy. 

Right when she opened the card, I handed her the paperbag in which I've put her birthday present. She took it calmly and just when she was about to retrieve the gift, in the background, the song 'Happy Birthday' was being played. We both stared at each other and I said, 'No, I didn't ask them to do that.'

LOL. I swear!

And since both of us are exceptionally shy, we just shrugged it off, telling ourselves that the song was for someone else in the restaurant (in the end, actually it was for her, the waiters/waitresses were grinning from ear to ear looking at us, haha).  

I thank God immensely for putting her in my life, for helping me get back to the deen and most importantly, for never giving up on me. She was one of the very few people I messaged early in the morning one day, telling that I'm going to wear hijab for the very first time in public that day, and that feeling, you know, priceless. No words to describe. Same goes to our friendship, no words to sum it all up. Because when you do it for the sake of the Lord of the worlds, only you know how much any gesture, any decision, any feeling means, especially when it causes a stir in your heart, knowing how much love you have for Him, that includes all of His creations, and how much MORE love He has for you. 

Have a good weekend, folks!

epitome of happiness

A friend shared this yesterday and how this described a portion of my past so perfectly. 

Love makes us... a lot of things. It can make us better or worse. Love is also so vulnerable that someone can get inside of us and messes us up so bad. 

Such delicate hearts we have. 

This reminded me of something the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w said.

"Surely, the heart of the son of Adam turns over and over more than a pot of boiling water."

We have changes of heart every single minute. One minute we're feeling super determined, the next minute we're feeling down, for He is the Turner of our hearts. 

Prof Muhaya reminds us all the time, "Hati kita berada dalam genggaman Allah." 

Whatever wordly things that we are trying to chase, a big house, a great career, getting that perfect spouse, a grand wedding, all of those will never make us happy eternally if our hearts are not with our Creator. 

Most of us think that happiness lies in finally getting married, for example. It is not. These are all just tools to bring us closer to Him. Subhanallah, how great is He.

There's a hadith that describes our heart so perfectly.

"There is in the body a clump of flesh - if it becomes good, the whole body becomes good, and if it becomes bad, the whole body becomes bad. And indeed, it is the heart. "

I'm thankful for the people that Allah sent on my path to bring me back to the deen, the feel the beauty of His love in everything and every person and to teach me that whatever that He has destined for me is actually molding myself, my heart to be the kind of people He is pleased with, insyaAllah.