protect what i love

Have you noticed that as we grow old, there will only be this bunch of friends who really, really know who you are, even when you don't know that part of you, yourself?

Sigh.

You know, I have been isolating myself from most people for these past few months because I realize that some things are just not worth hanging onto. Some create drama, and while I used to enjoy or even join in the drama, at this age I'm at, I don't need them anymore. There's no room in my mind to accommodate all these useless things which will drain me of my energy, for sure. 

Try doing something your friends don't expect you to do. Go against something they don't expect you to do and see their reaction. Some people, when they don't get what they want from you, they can be mean. A side of them you have not seen. Even if they are your very own close friends you've known for years. 

A few months ago, I was in a stressful situation, work-wise and family-wise. All I wanted at that time was understanding friends. That's it. This bunch of girlfriends keep asking me out for a catch-up session. At that time I was super busy from one weekend to another and I kept on rejecting their 'dates' and they went berserk about it. Biasalah, ladies and drama (me included la). So, in the midst of all this chaos, another group of friends also tried to set a date with me, which I politely declined as well, knowing my December schedule. But they were persistent and what they did next touched my heart deeply. This bunch of guy friends who work in the heart of KL and stay in faraway places like Ampang and Klang, went all the way from KL to see me in Cyberjaya, on their public holiday (it was Christmas Day, I was still working), so that they can have dinner with me. So sweet! Super duper sweet. I mean, can't my girlfriends do that too? Can't they be as understanding as the guys? I mean, the girls, they are practically working in Cyberjaya as well! And I didn't even think of that brilliant idea pun. Ah, can I just have guyfriends instead of girlfriends now? Haha, just kidding. I love my girlfriends just the same.  

When 2014 came, I was still swarmed up at work and activities. The same set of girlfriends ask me out for their birthday celebration next month. April, May and June are my busiest month so I just told them the weeks that I will be free. To the dismay of some of them who replied that the date set was already in agreement with most of  them, so I said ok, I'll follow majority (i think this surprised them). By this time, I was so annoyed that they bothered to even ask which dates I am free, but I kept reminding myself to be calm and patient. which was SO TOUGH! No wonder sabar is half of your iman :S

Is it them? Or is it just me? Am I being sensitive? Like I said, at this age, I don't need this. I don't need drama, I don't need friends who say beautiful things about yourself to you just to back-bite you in the end, I don't need talks about the latest cosmetic they have in Sephora or how much discount I can get, I don't need to discuss about someone's backside in the office nor do I want to talk about why is Miss A getting married with someone younger than her. I don't need those things anymore. Those will only make me love the world more when all I want now, is to leave all those behind. I don't want to feel jealousy, envy, competitive, excitement over worldly matters, arrogance, hatred. I just want to clean myself from all those mess I've built over the years and getting rid of them probably require having to leave some of your girlfriends behind, but that's okay.

The things that I love now is going for talks and classes to gain beneficial knowledge which I can share and educate my brothers and sisters with. The things that don't only benefit us now, but also when we have passed. I love having discussions with some girlfriends who go to these classes as well and we share the things that we learnt or debate about them, which will elevate our knowledge insyaAllah. These things, they give you a calmness in your hearts which you won't get it elsewhere. It's a delight having some of your lifelong questions answered by just asking and seeking. 

My point is, I have no room in my heart or mind for petty things. That doesn't mean I don't have fun anymore, I do, but just differently I guess. Someone once said, if you love a person, you gotta protect what he/she loves. That include her faith, her hobbies, her passion.

I can't agree more. 

turning another number

I just cannot leave March without writing an entry, so here it is, a random one :)

March is a special month for me because ahem, it's the month that I was born in some decades ago, bahaha.

Spent a few days in Kuching with my loved ones.
My, my. I love them to bits.

Thank you for this, ya Allah :')

Here I quote an insight from a mother on motherhood during one of the ilm talks I attended last year. 

"In that huge heartache, there are still the joys in life, and they are the little things. And this made motherhood so much worth it."

The little joys in my life are made out of special people who are always watching over me, whether I realize it or not, and knowing that regardless whether I am wrong or right, they will be right there saying "It's okay."

Oh, Papa wasn't having a bad day. It's his signature photo pose :P

human potential

Right now I'm supposed to be doing a research for a project BUT I miss blogging, I really do! Been quite occupied lately, which is good because 2014 is gonna be an awesome one, you bet. 

Some weeks ago I had 2 restless days thinking about an issue which I didn't know how to handle. I worried, threw tantrums (sorang2 in the room la), and heh, you know what? I fell sick and took MC the next day. Crazy right? I think prior to that I was already catching the flu and fever bug, plus I didn't really have proper sleep or rest. 

And then I asked Him.

I got my answer the next day while listening to Ikim.fm radio channel, talking about human potential. I forgot who was the invited guest at that time but what he said answered exactly what I was so restless about. Well, it goes along the line of something like this. 

Manusia telah diciptakan sebaik-baik kejadian, so do not measure your capability against another human. Everyone's got potential, which you might already have known, or will know later in life. 

There, crystal clear. 

Talking about human potential, I gotta salute those who have/are using their God-given skills to give back to the community. I've got a friend who's doing graphic designing. He is currently attached to an Islamic educational institution, designing posters for the institution's da'awah missions. Also, this used-to-be really popular local R&B sensation who are now going around the nation on their maulid quests. Never mind what take people has on maulids. I used to be their groupie back then tau. Subhanallah for this transformation :) Recently, one of my nephews showed me an application called myMasjid (or something like that) which he and his friends built. Besides the usual calling of the prayer (adzan) function, the application can also locate the nearest mosque for you, has a built-in compass and another function I can't recall. I mean, how great is that, masyaallah!

I came accross a phrase from the Quran  (28:77)  yesterday which fits the above situations perfectly. 

But seek, through that which Allah has given you, the home of the Hereafter; and [yet], do not forget your share of the world. And do good as Allah has done good to you. And desire not corruption in the land. Indeed, Allah does not like corrupters.

or its Malay translation,

Dan carilah dengan apa yang Allah dianugerahkan kepadamu itu negeri akhirat, dan janganlah kamu melupakan bahagianmu daripada duniawi, dan berbuat baiklah sebagaimana Allah telah berbuat baik kepadamu, dan janganlah kamu berbuat kerosakan di bumi. Sesungguhnya Allah tidak menyukai orang yang berbuat kerosakan.

How apt kan? So, please give back to the community if you have the chance. You could change the life of others, or subconsciously, your own :) 

happy news

Ikan di laut, asam di darat.

Dalam kuali bertemu jua.

Ever heard of that idiom?

Just now a colleague relayed a story of a friend who just tied the knot last week. I dengar their love story hati pun terus berbunga-bunga. Haha.. 

Last November, Linda, went to Armsterdam on one of her travel quest. Linda is one of those carefree I-just-wanna-spend-my-life-travelling-not-getting-married-yet kinda girl. When she got back, her friends tried to play cupid, match-making her with a Malay guy who, by their standards, is pretty decent, duaniawi and akhirat. Linda wasn't interested at first because firstly she was dating a mat salleh at that time. After much persuasion, she finally gave in, after doing istikarah etc. They dated a while, got engaged, just had their akad nikah last week and gonna do their reception this weekend.

I mean, this is Linda, who couldn't care less about having a wedding, let alone starting a family! And it all happened within a period of 3 months, masyaAllah. Kalau dah jodoh, they say ;)

I love their story because I think I can relate to Linda being carefree and not wanting to settle down that fast, and look at where she is now. Allah has given her someone who can guide her to Jannah. Betul lah, perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik :)

Couldn't help thinking am I baik enough already? How baik should I be? Or, have I ended up like this (still single) because of what I have done in the past? If so, what about those who are worse than I am? 

I know I shouldn't be thinking that at all. I am no angel, and definitely not better than another hamba Allah. I shouldn't judge as the rightful judge is Him, only Him. Hati lain-lain kan, only He knows what is in our hearts. 

In addition to this good news, I just found out that one of my ex is getting married in July. This is the ex from a couple of years ago, not the recent one. LOL. The only ex I've managed to stay friends with :) I am happy for him. I know he will make a great husband, and an even better father :) Looks like things are falling into place, alhamdulillah :') After all, He is the best of planners.

2014 so far has been good, and it's only January :) I know I'm a changed person now, and while some may not like how I am now, this is the path I choose to be.

I recently stumbled upon a word, husnuzon. It means having good thoughts of people and of His plans. 

InsyaAllah.

Good night, have a pleasant sleep :)

walk a mile.... in my shoes

You know, throughout this trying time of ours, one of the good thing that came out of it of which I am so proud of is how hard my brothers work and how unselfish they are in sharing and giving up their income to help the family. 

From young, we were blessed with abundance of rezeki that most of the time, we don't have to share anything because we could afford to have one each etc. Now that the tables have turned, I could see that at first it was very hard for us to get adjusted to this new 'lifestyle'. We had to ration our food, like, everyone can only get 1 piece of whatever food was on the table, eat canned sardines, KFC is considered a luxury etc. 

Now, my brothers are the biggest contributors to the family. The first one is always willing to help with the finance whenever the family needs it, the second one working full-time and sometimes part time too (he does banci at times. What is banci in English again? Big bucks too, ok) and is always trying to find out ways to generate income. This brother who used to be that one selfish sibling who wouldn't share anything with anyone. I'm so proud of you :') And the last brother, the youngest one, is still studying. When he gets his PTPTN loan, he gave most of it to my father to help finance the household. I'm so, so proud of you guys. 

So when someone, especially family members from the extended side, come to my mother asking why are we insufficient on cash when each of us are working, it breaks me. Because they don't and will never understand the plight that we are in, that each of us are in. I'm no fan of Rita Rudaini, the Malaysian actress who is fighting for nafkah for her kids since her divorce with the nation's footballer, but I agree completely when she said that "Hanya orang yang mempunyai anak saja yang tahu dan faham tentang perbelanjaan anak-anak." Or in other words, you gotta step into one's shoe to fully understand what they're going through and why they're doing what they do. 

I'm so proud of you, my brothers. We've gone a long, longgg way. I believe this is a test to prepare us for something bigger :) Nothing is ever a concidence, kan? 

I love you guys a whole lot. 

3 guys and 1 hot lady

Good-looking fellas at the recent maulid in DBP, Kuching

Lastly, 

kain putih

Assalamualaikum abang2 and kakak2, aunties and uncles. 

I'm the latest addition to the Adeni family and I shall still remain nameless ;)

My niece, born on New Year, alhamdulillah. She looks exactly her mummy. Hehehe. I cannot wait to go back to Kuching to meet this munchkin. 

I'm sure you'll grow up gorgeous, baby girl. Yes! Another reason for me to buy more tutus!

On another note, last December while attending Twins of Faith 2013 Family Festival, there was this session for kids aged 5 and above called 'Play and Pray'. This session is particularly working as a nursery for kids as a means to facilitate and ease their parents who wish to go for talks and workshops throughout the day. But this ain't an ordinary cookies and milk nursery I tell ya. They actually teach kids the practices of Islam as a way of living. So on the way to one of the talks that day, I passed by that particular 'Play and Pray' hall and took a peek inside. Children were having a great time with their activities and one of the facilitator was asking them, "So who wants to be the imam for today's Zuhur prayer?" And almost all the kids were raising their hands. Mashaallah, if you can listen to what my heart was saying, it was actually shouting, "Wait? What? You guys are just tiny minions of 5 and you guys can confidently raise up your hands to lead a hall (of say about 100 kids) to pray?" Like, seriously? That alone, was like a slap in my face. Ko ado?

By the way, the Twins of Faith Family Festival is THE event of 2013 that I was soooo excited about. Was counting days for it. Organised by Mercy Mission Malaysia, its main objective is to bring in Muslim scholars from different parts of the world to give talks and to conduct workshops on different topics for the benefits of Muslims and non-Muslims who are interested to learn more about Islam. Besides talks and workshops, there were bazaars going on, a sisters corner for ehem, girly stuff (like pedicure manicure, spa treatment, sale of cosmetics), nursing rooms for mothers, a marriage corner (I heard this was such a hit), charity booths and charity drives and as mentioned earlier, a play and pray zone for kids. Everything about the event is beneficial for all ages so I do encourage you to come for this year's. It usually happens end of December :) Do come, I assure you a 2-day of knowledge you won't find anywhere else.

 The wonderful line-up of speakers for 2013

The treasure seekers :P

+1

Kamal Saleh, the recent Youtube sensation for his rap on Islam

The best view