finding your home among sisters

Seek and you shall find.

A fortnight ago, I had the pleasure of attending the 2nd Being Me sisters-only conference held in Putrajaya International Convention Centre.  My first time to an Islamic conference and I have to say, I'm lucky despite purchasing the (sold-out) ticket last minute and had that last minute ticket bought by someone else just a day before the event, I managed to get a new ticket on the day of the event itself. Alhamdulillah.

Among the speakers for the event were Aizuddin Othman, Prof Dr. Muhaya, Br. Yusha Evans, Sis. Zohra Sarwari, Sis. Tasneem Ghauri, Prof. Dr. Zaleha. Sh. Alaa ElSayed including spoken word performance by bloggers Sis. Yasmin Zaini and Sis. Mubina Shafqat Ali. Sheikh Tawfique Chowdhury was also supposed to join us but his wife was in labor that very morning, so he couldn't make it.

Basically, Being Me - Muslimah Empowered, is a conference organised by women for women and is also the first women's conference in Malaysia by Mercy Mission to address the daily lives and challenges facing the Muslim women today. Yeah, the introduction taken from the booklet for the event >.<

Just to share some knowledge I've gained (or some notes I scribbled) during the conference (you know, cos Twitter only has a limit of 140 characters, so blog it is).

The most valuable part of the day is the last 5 minutes before you go to sleep, because that should be the time that you reflect on yourself, what happened during the day and what are you going to do about it the next day.

To have a good partner, you need to learn to forgive. Those who are not able to forgive themselves will not be able to forgive others.

The 2 most important days in a man's life is the day you were born and the day you discover why you were born.

Whatever you do, you get back.

The 4 stages in a man's life :
1) athletic - the stage where we often worry about how we look
2) warrior - the go-getter stage, always fighting to be the best (stressful stage)
3) wisdom/adventurer - the best stage, where we're physically tired, but spiritually enlightened
4) enlightenment - there's only Allah in our heart and we detach ourselves from whatever outcome. At this stage, we're independent of the opinion of others. Nice.

Remedy to suppress anger :
1) Accept others for what they are
2) Correct your mind, not other people

There's a session by Prof Dr Muhaya on 'Garment for One Another'. Silly me to be thinking that the talk was about how to dress appropriately as a muslimah. Turned out it's about spouses being the perfect complement for each other, providing comfort, protection, cover and support. Just like our garments. The title is so cool like that, kan?
So there's 2 types of garments :
Out-in : They appear as any other normal couple, but deep down, they are not happy (mediocre living)
In-out : To live inside out, more focused on developing themselves to achieve the state of being perfect garments for each other.

If you're busy looking at others, you'll never look at yourself.

75% of sickness comes from the mind.

Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy
(this leads to the law of expectation)

Prof Dr Muhaya suggested a book entitled 'Biology of Belief'. I scribbled 'LOOK OUT FOR THIS BOOK!' in my notes, so ....

Until you are in Allah's zone, you will never find peace and happiness.

To have inner peace for you to get a good garment, you need to be able to :
1) be inspired
2) forgive
3) abundance
4) spiritual connection with Allah

Difference between motivation and inspiration?
Motivation - To have a motive for your action and in return, you get rewarded.
Inspiration - Finding meaning in everything that you do.
Nice.

Successful people make choices, committed people do whatever it takes.

Children within the year of :
0-7 -> sponge mode; absorb everything they see
7-14 -> role-modelling after who/what they see

Put children in good environment, like stem cells.

BE EXPENSIVE, BE EXCLUSIVE

Point to remember, sisters :
How do we dress? Are we with Allah all the time?

For every 1 patient a doctor treats, 17000 angels (malaikat) pray for you.

Cancers are made out from people who worry a lot.

3 types of aura :
spiritual - with Allah
emotional - love, kindness, joy, generosity
physical

Seretonin - hormone for happiness. Nice.

Those who show do not have, those who know do not know.
Reflect on this.

Forgiveness strengthens you, Anger weakens you.

2 thieves in life :
1) fear of tomorrow
2) regret of the past

Untuk mencari redha Allah, you need to :
1) be specific - to have a good career, a good muslimah
2) be focused -  on your dakwah Islamiah
3) have unwavering faith - keyakinan yang tak putus-putus
4) have deepness of gratitude - choose your thoughts

Istiqamah of being good :
1) niat
2) good friends
3) good journal - finding knowledge non-stop

"If he's really serious, he'll ask your Dad"
That's a good one.

A woman is half of an ummah, and she gives birth to the other half of the ummah.
So, she is the whole of an ummah.

So, that's about it. Honestly, I never would have thought that I would be able to convince myself to attend one of these conferences, at least not yet. But you know, life has its points and its turnings, and I am forever thankful for this nudge to this direction. Weird thing is, I realize that the more I learn, out of nowhere, friends (and even strangers) came and share knowledge and experiences and guidance. Masha Allah, He who listens and knows all things (Quran 2: 256)

Okay, this entry is getting pretty lengthy now so I'll just include some photos that I managed to capture during the event.

And finally,

Me and my best friend, Azlene, who's also a volunteer for the event. 

Miracle: something or someone that fills our heart with joy
Paolo Coelho

renewed faith

My favorite part of the day. Midnight. Especially on a Friday. 

"There's always something about Friday nights and adrenaline rush". 

My tweet earlier. Well yeah, 'cos I was driving on the highway with the windows rolled down and that brush of air while you're driving at high speed,  makes you feel alive. Not that I'm promoting that need for speed, of course. Hey it was still within the speed limit (i think). AND I wasn't tweeting while driving. Honest!

Anyways, one of my best friends, Nas, got engaged to her Mister Dinosaur today (yeap, that's what she calls him. hehe. i think it's cute). She's in Kuching and I was so disappointed that I couldn't be there with her on her special day. Couldn't get the day off from the boss. Boo. But whatever it is, I am so happy for her on this big step. I mean, I've known Nas since primary school, for goodness sake. And while we weren't that close in school, we met again lots of years later in KL of all places and became the best of friends since then. She is a big part of my life. She introduced me to MIFA, how's that?!?  :')

For Nas to have taken this big, bold step of moving on to another level, and being casual about it is something I must say I respect. To me, this shows a level of maturity because it is a decision that affects not only her alone, but her family and his family as well. Well, I don't know Mister Dinosaur personally (though I intend to give a personal speech to him on how to make Nas happy :P ) , but from Nas's stories, I think he will make a good husband. Anyhow, there's this surah, surah an-Nur ayat 26 which states that 

"Perempuan yang jahat untuk lelaki yang jahat dan lelaki yang jahat untuk perempuan yang jahat. Perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik dan lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik." 

and I firmly believe that Mister Dinosaur is indeed lelaki yang baik.

Thing is, life has this wonderful way of unfolding itself. Some call it luck, others may call it fate. Muslims, like myself, call them Qada' and Qadar. I know sometimes we're presented with choices that we don't understand and we wonder what He is trying to tell us. Yeah it's funny at times but having to go through a bad break-up recently, it actually gave me a renewed sense of faith that everything is the way it should be. Indeed He knows what's best for us. Allah is great and He loves us so very dearly. We just need to have faith and of course coupled with our own effort. That's what I feel anyways. 

 And speaking of marriage, honestly I've always wondered what does it mean when they say "To enter a marriage in the name of Allah." What I used to think is that, I thought you get married in the name of love, so how can you get married if you don't love the person you're marrying? How do you do it in the name of Allah? I mean, yes you can say it aloud, I'm marrying him/her in the name of Allah but how do you justify it with your actions? Been thinking about this for quite a long time now and I think I may have found the answer in this video.

Sending a lot of love over from KL, Sweetheart. You deserve each other. And I will see you real soon!

"He found you wandering"

That is, lovingly seeking God. So He guided you and the creation to Him.

Habib Ali al-Jifri

moments of impact

I was watching 'The Vow' (starring Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams) last night and there's this one scene that was so close to my heart. 

It's like being transported back into time. 

  

"These moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down, actually end up defining who we are"

Yup, that's taken from this movie. 

The photo up there, it reminded me of the end of a beautiful relationship, but most importantly, the start of a relationship even more beautiful it feels like being in paradise. 

May Allah bless you, Amin.

a better person

I love reading materials or excerpts that inspire me, and sometimes I share them on my blog. Here's one that I read this morning which somehow made me look at things in a different perspective. It's written in my native Malay language, so I'll try my best to translate them :)

Translation

This morning I heard both my parents teasing each other, and my mum even sang (!). All I could do was smile sheepishly, else if I were to butt in, it would be another different story. There's a blessing that my mum was admitted to the HUS (Sarawak General Hospital) the day before. A fish bone has gotten stuck in her gum and my dad had to accompany her to the hospital. And now they're teasing each other like mad :)

Moral of the story, Sometimes in order to have a good thing to happen, a bad thing must occur first. Always have faith in Allah, always think good of Him because He has only the best plans for us. 

End of transation

I think I have became a better person in these few months. Spiritually, and in knowing myself better and what I want. I fell in love again with things that had once upon a time kept me alive - music and literature. 

There's just one thing that still lingers in my mind. 

There's this saying by Paolo Coelho, "Enjoy the questions and forget the answers." 

Thing is, how do we enjoy the questions when we spend the start of our waking hours wondering what was wrong with ourselves? Every single day. 

If I could have the answer to that, I think I will finally be at peace. 

To the next journey and beyond.

"

superhero

The joy of being an only daughter 

XD

Do you know that the Chinese believe that daughters are their father's girlfriend from a previous life? That is why daughters tend to be closer to their dads than they are to their mothers. 

When I was a teenager, I was closer to my father because we could talk about a lot of things. Papa built his success from scratch and he gave a lot of advice on how to study and he even shared his experiences of studying one of the toughest subject of all time - law. Can't believe he actually recorded his own voice of narrating the Acts and played them back so he could memorize them faster o_O

And because it makes me happy to see my father happy, my only goal growing up was to excel in my studies, which went along fine until I went to the university - but thank God I survived :P

Honestly, I owe everything to Allah and my parents's blessings. 

One thing I notice about my father throughout the years was how he reacted towards his ups and downs. I know, I have been writing a little bit about it in some of my entries.  Thing is, doesn't matter whether he has the money or not, one thing that remains constant until now, is how humble he is. What varies is how people react towards him when he was at the pinnacle of success and when he was at the lowest point of his life. The things people do (or don't do) when they are in need (or not) *sigh*

Talking about success, the other day, I was having dinner with some well-to-do families, and all they talk about were cars, wealth and businesses. We were also seated with the less fortunate and it saddened me to see them all out in trying to impress the rich ones. That is so wrong. I know it happens a lot in the society as well. Sometimes these crazy fascination with the wonders of the world makes me sick.

Moving on to a lighter note, I hope I will one day find a man who has similar characteristic as my father, humble, kind and responsible. Not many men possess those qualities nowadays. My friend from my hometown kept on asking me to go back to Kuching for good and get a local man to get married to. Geez, I don't think there are anymore available bachelors in Kuching, hahaha. The good ones are already taken! Anyways, I am seriously considering going back to Kuching, maybe in the next 2 years. I keep saying that, I know :P Just hope the rezeki comes in a bit earlier ya? I miss spending time with my family, watching them grow old and grow up. 

Lastly, Happy Father's Day to all daddies out there!
Be a good example and be there as much as you can for your children because it does make a lot of difference of how they perceive the idea of a father figure. And if you ever (God forbid) decide that it doesn't work out with your spouse, please DO NOT plant all kinds of negative perception into your kids's mind just so they won't ask around for their mom/dad. They have the right to the truth. 

Alright now, adios!


Find beauty in everything. Helps cleanse your heart.

shut your eyes

The best way to know if you love someone.

Is to shut your eyes.

When you shut your eyes, you eliminate the things that are unnecessary to you and focus on the most important thing that matters to you. 

Sometimes that's the best way to make a decision. 

Taken from a self-motivation book by Albert Espinosa, "The Yellow World"; 

"They always advised us to shut our eyes. For them, shutting the eyes was almost magical. You shut your eyes and it was as if you managed to get rid of all the unimportant details. Closing your eyes eliminates one of your senses, the sense that distracts you the most, that brings in the most information."

I have to agree with this because at times when I'm on the praying mat, sometimes I'll be thinking that the blinds and the mutes are the ones luckier than us because they are not distracted by the things that they can't see or hear, which helps them to concentrate in their prayers. As for myself, sometimes the slightest movement or sound can easily distract me from concentrating on my  prayers. Talk about khusyu'.

 I found this book by chance in Kinokuniya while waiting for my brother to finish his work and it IS a good read. I didn't buy it though because at the time I was torn between buying this or Paolo Coelho's 'Aleph'. I ended up not buying both. Pfft. I will soon. I will :P

I just finished my Sidney Sheldon debut novel and I gotta say that I missed a lot. Have not been reading for quite a while now and I intend to continue this passion. 

Alright, need to have some shut eye now, not because I need to decide something, it's because I have a packed day tomorrow.. hehe. 

Try shutting your eyes to make that decision you've been holding on to for so long. 

Night, angels!

We need to learn how to lose things, and see our losses in new ways. Even the most painful experiences have beauty hidden in them - Albert Espinosa