This is one of those nights where I just wanna rant.
Sometimes I feel it's just easier to stay insignificant. That way, the pain is all yours to take and you don't have to take the feeling of others into account. Sometimes I just want to be all by myself. Just me and my journey. That's all.
Becoming too attached to people sometimes makes you vulnerable. Vulnerable to all kinds of feelings which padaku sometimes is just wasting my time and effort. Tired, you know. Always being the one who initiates, who pushes, who gets it done. Get what I mean?
So, if I were to choose to be insignificant, I don't have to jaga hati and all those nonsense. That is the part yang a bit complicated in whatever relationship you're in, kan? So, better be totally irrelevant kan? You don't kacau others, and others (hopefully) don't kacau you.
I tried to be just that a few weeks back but I failed. Because I can't.
I cannot be that person who keeps to herself and still be happy.
But if you want me to be that irrelevant to you and your life, so be it.