ode to a bestie

I reached Tanah Perkuburan Islam Bukit Teratai, Ampang at around 6pm. 

Probably the longest drive ever, I feel. The only time I've complaint a lot during a drive. Why did they have to build bumps every 5 meters? Why don't they have alternative routes at this part of the town? Why don't they build a gas station on this side of the road so that I didn't have to make a U-turn just to fill up gas? Why don't all Petronas have CIMB ATMs? Why didn't I top-up my Touch'N'Go card earlier? Why why whyyyy?

When I finally drove into the cemetery's parking lot, there were a few cars parked inside. But the saddest thing is seeing our cars, the 4 of us parked side by side. Imran's car, Ummie's car, Hash's car. Thing is, it wasn't Hash who drove his car today. Because he was already buried 6 feet under just after Asar prayers that evening. I parked my car next to Hash's and made my way to the burial site.

I saw Ummie first. She was leaving the cemetery because she needed to get back to the office. We hugged and sobbed uncontrollably. I didn't have any words to say. "Ok beb, aku nak kene gerak dah ni.", she said. I walked weakly towards Imran who's still standing beside Hash's burial ground. He has been crying, too. There were not many people left and it was getting dark.

He told me that they did the jenazah prayers in Masjid Taman Kosas and buried the body straightaway. Everything happened so fast. But I was glad that Hash's journey into the next life was smooth and quick. And he passed away in this blessed Ramadhan month. Imran shared the time when he and Hash were discussing about my plans to leave KL for good this year and that he was so sad about it because he couldn't see much of me anymore. But he was the one who went away first :( We shared the travel plans that Hash had for us this year, an Australia adventure and a New Zealand road trip. At the back of my mind, I was imagining what will happen to our occasional gathering with no Hash around. Will we still be together? It won't be the same. 

We left the cemetery close to 7pm. 

There were lots of messages on my Whatsapp and Facebook about Hash's demise. But the one that I will remember most, from today, is from another friend of ours, N. She is part of our gang but she started to get busy starting end of last year so we didn't see much of her lately. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't seeing much of you guys lately. I've to attend some personal stuff. There's just to many to update you guys on. Work, life, loves.. And as you can see, I've chopped off my Rapunzel hair.. I wanted to get myself ready to wear tudung.. If you can do it, I can do it too, babe."  Right in the feels, man.

And then she said, "Look, why don't we berbuka together somewhere and then terawih." She struck my chord.

"Let's find someplace to berbuka" she continued.

"Or, we can berbuka in the masjid and then terawih after that," I said.

"Sounds like a good idea! Any masjid you nak pergi?"

After listing some beautiful masjids, N said, "Let's go visit Hash during Raya, recite some yassin"

I smiled. That is exactly what I have in mind for us this Raya.

She continued, "Babe, I have to stop 'berhuha' already. Dah terlebih tahun ni. I want to become a better Muslimah.I might need some help from you. "

Some time ago, I said the same thing. So I said, "Don't worry. When you decide to become better, Allah will send good people to guide you."

Alhamdulillah.

And, you know what came out from Hash's passing? I made 2 new friends who are friends of Hash's. I've never met nor talked to them before and we kept on updating each other on Hash's conditions prior to his passings. And we shared words of encouragement. 

Hash, you're no longer around but you still bring benefit to those around you. May Allah keep you safe, and may He put you in the best of Heavens. You're gone too soon. It was so fast. The last time we talked was by your hospital bed. You kept saying sakit.. sakit. I wish I had more time with you. I wish I had entertained your sometimes ridiculous requests on where to eat, 'cos you love eating and hanging out. Your dream wife and dream life, you shared with me. I wish we had more time.

Goodbye, buddy.