Friday, October 12, 2012

self-control


All I needed was self-control. 

And I succeeded. 

The usual me would have stormed off the scene.
The usual me wouldn't have even smiled, nor looked in their direction. 
But I did, I smiled and bid farewell. 

Such composure, I didn't even know where that came from. 

But then, I drove home in tears, while talking on the phone with the Mister, relating what had previously happened to me. 
Again, the usual me would've accelerated and sped home. 
The usual me would've pictured in her head all kinds of nasty things to do to let the steam off herself.

I guess tonight I am not my usual self.
And that most probably because I have a lot of things on my mind right now, and they multiplied after I had a pep talk with my boss earlier. 

One thing she said was, "Talk to anyone. If you're not comfortable talking to me, or G (the supervisor), you can always talk to HR, or other people".

Hmm, wonder what made her think that I have issues. 
I don't think I am having any issues now. It's just that I rarely speak up about myself to others. Well, is that an issue?

So I don't really talk to anyone about myself. 
It will be a BIG NO-NO to be talking about myself in this team . One day you'll be all buddies with each other, the next day your buddy will be scratching your back with their glistening long fingernails. 

Seriously. 

Thing is, I have trust issues and I prefer to keep things to myself. Which is why I am more of a listener. 
And this is the reason I keep only a certain bunch of girlfriends in my close circle of friends. I agree totally to what Daphne Iking tweeted the other day.


They really are the reason I am able to keep my sanity intact. 

Ok, I guess I have said enough on this entry. 
What better way to ease pain other than to indulge with chips and chocolates on your comfy bed?


No comments:

Post a Comment